My apologies for posting this over two posts, but it is just too long.
Saturday morning is my “computer time.” It’s when I clean up things on my computer and clean out old emails and such. Once a month, it’s bill paying day (I run on a fiscal month – I pay whatever bills I have on the 20th of the month with whatever money I have on the 20th of the month). This practice harkens back to the day when the bank mailed out the paper statement to me on the 15th of the month ad bills were due on the first.
Today’s saga was programming the new remote. We have Direct TV, the good news that Direct TV doesn’t sell remotes anymore for $25 but have 3rd party vendors (like Walmart) that sell them for about $9 and you don’t have to wait 10 days to have it shipped. Instead you have to wait three days for Walmart to get it out of the back room and move it to the front desk and then go to the store to pick it up.
The remote came in a box big enough for a small air conditioning unit.
The other good news is that Direct TV use the same remote for all of their boxes. The bad news is that you have to tell the remote what TV you are using.
As I sat at my computer in my den, from the other room I am hearing a commotion. My wife was using words that a longshoreman would pass on and was stringing them together in the most creative fashion. I figured that she must have been trying to program the remote. I stayed away until the snarling and profanity subsided. Then, offering a fresh cup of coffee as a peace offering, I entered her room.
I’ve decided that Direct TV (and other vendors) have it out for us senior citizens. They print the instructions in 4-point type which requires an electron-scanning microscope to read. Donning two sets of glasses (don’t tell me you’ve never done this – wait, it will happen to you), I dove into the instructions.
Fun Fact: In the late 1980s, actor William Shatner had an outdoor satellite dish, positioner and receiver installed at his horse farm in Kentucky. The captain of the Enterprise couldn’t work the remote controls, it was too complex.
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
Farside99 over 3 years ago
Whatever you, don’t push the Off button!
Say What Now‽ Premium Member over 3 years ago
Press the rewind button!
gopher gofer over 3 years ago
that’s not even remotely possible…
Doug K over 3 years ago
I thought it would be in the Couch Cushion Nebula.
Qiset over 3 years ago
Quickly, fast forward to Jan 20th, 2025 when this madness will be over.
pcolli over 3 years ago
Fast forward to the end of Covid.
Randoblyth over 3 years ago
Well, that changes everything!
Jan Wohlgemuth Premium Member over 3 years ago
Must be a very remote corner of the galaxy…
Zebrastripes over 3 years ago
Oy…blast it into space…we’ve had enough of boob tube TV!
zerotvus over 3 years ago
fascinating….
dflak over 3 years ago
My apologies for posting this over two posts, but it is just too long.
Saturday morning is my “computer time.” It’s when I clean up things on my computer and clean out old emails and such. Once a month, it’s bill paying day (I run on a fiscal month – I pay whatever bills I have on the 20th of the month with whatever money I have on the 20th of the month). This practice harkens back to the day when the bank mailed out the paper statement to me on the 15th of the month ad bills were due on the first.
Today’s saga was programming the new remote. We have Direct TV, the good news that Direct TV doesn’t sell remotes anymore for $25 but have 3rd party vendors (like Walmart) that sell them for about $9 and you don’t have to wait 10 days to have it shipped. Instead you have to wait three days for Walmart to get it out of the back room and move it to the front desk and then go to the store to pick it up.
The remote came in a box big enough for a small air conditioning unit.
The other good news is that Direct TV use the same remote for all of their boxes. The bad news is that you have to tell the remote what TV you are using.
As I sat at my computer in my den, from the other room I am hearing a commotion. My wife was using words that a longshoreman would pass on and was stringing them together in the most creative fashion. I figured that she must have been trying to program the remote. I stayed away until the snarling and profanity subsided. Then, offering a fresh cup of coffee as a peace offering, I entered her room.
I’ve decided that Direct TV (and other vendors) have it out for us senior citizens. They print the instructions in 4-point type which requires an electron-scanning microscope to read. Donning two sets of glasses (don’t tell me you’ve never done this – wait, it will happen to you), I dove into the instructions.
HMETALNYMETSVAL Premium Member over 3 years ago
Star Trek jokes are always good to see. Thanks, Dave!
William Bednar Premium Member over 3 years ago
Que opening cords of “Also Sprach Zarathustra”.
BearsDown Premium Member over 3 years ago
“Let’s see if we’re on Netflix.”
jscarff57 Premium Member over 3 years ago
…it appears to need batteries…
Radish the wordsmith over 3 years ago
God dropped it under the couch.
A meteor just hit a button…
David_J Premium Member over 3 years ago
Fun Fact: In the late 1980s, actor William Shatner had an outdoor satellite dish, positioner and receiver installed at his horse farm in Kentucky. The captain of the Enterprise couldn’t work the remote controls, it was too complex.
The Brooklyn Accent Premium Member over 3 years ago
I hope it doesn’t activate the Universal Soldier.
Csaw Backnforth over 3 years ago
What it does is reverse the polarity (of the neutron flow.)
PO' DAWG over 3 years ago
See if it can fix the ice cream machine at McDonald"s
mwksix over 3 years ago
Great! Now maybe no more commercials!
Teto85 Premium Member over 3 years ago
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
Teto85 Premium Member over 3 years ago
Happy Birthdays this week to Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner. Two nice Jewish boys who only fired their space lasers at bad guys. LLAP \\//_
Lablubber over 3 years ago
To Xfinity and beyond!
WCraft Premium Member over 3 years ago
Dang it Jim, I’m a doctor; not an I.T. Guy!