Close to Home by John McPherson for May 05, 2021

Well now you know. It can.

It could be rap.

And when you come and all the flowers are dying / If I am dead, as dead I well may be / You’ll come and find the place where I am lying / And kneel and say an Ave there for me.

I like bagpipes, but I hate the accordion.

Next up, duelling banjos.

And, with apologies to Gary Larson, the coffee’s cold!

Also, the drinks are watered down to ….. …… well, ……… water. Not that it’s well water. They’re very thorough.

I saved a Marshall Ramsey cartoon back on Sun., 5/29/16. There’s a guy dancing in the flames saying, “It’s almost chilly down here…Brrr!” Two demons are standing off to the side, and one says to the other, “You can always tell the ones from Mississippi.”

Next up, “The Battle of the Vuvuzela’s”.

The guy singing is probably tone deaf, too.

“What?! I told you two yesterday while playing golf, that if I got on the green in two, you’d have to go to the “basement”…

… by the way… you two suck at golf!

…. enjoy your karaoke!”

I’m pretty sure there are no bagpipes in hell. The devil keeps them forward deployed up here for maximum impact.

At least you won’t be able to hear the singing over the bagpipes.

Five drink minimum.

Could be worse. Could be 2 or more bagpipes, like a St. Patrick’s Day parade.

What the h#@l is bleep doing there

Oh, it gets worse. Next up is the banjo and accordion duet.

Now I see why Bleed wasn’t in yesterday’s heavenly comic.

Bagpipes or no, I’ll bet “Amazing Grace” is not among the program numbers.

Thursday Night: Dueling accordions contest.

Bleeb! That’s a Scotsman with a kilt, not a skirt, you don’t need to see that bag pipe.

Tomorrow…Mariah Carey karaoke night.

Definitely could be worse….

No Irish whiskey?!!!

That’s not fair! Ever listen to “Thunderstruck?!?” The bagpipes MAKE the song!!!

No, no, Bleeb does not belong there!!

I guess that explains why Bleeb wasn’t around yesterday: it must be a heck of a commute between those two places and he was scheduled to be here today, so he didn’t have time to visit yesterday.

I love Amazing Grace on the pipes, but I guess that one might be band in Hell.

That one lady on the right looks like she has a drink, but it is probably filled with hot sand.

‘Taint nothin’ wrong with the pipes, laddie!

Reminds me of “So I married an axe murderer”, scene about ‘Piper down’.

I’ll go next. IF you think I’m sexy AND you want my body ALL you have to do is call…

Well, now I have something to look forward to! All bagpipes, all the time!

All the music there would give people earworms.

Better than Heavy Metal!

I wonder if the heat is natural, or, if it’s piped in.

Coming up next…A Barry Manilow marathon.

I tried to think of other instruments that would sound worse and all I could come up with is a theramin and a bent hand saw played with a violin bow duet.