Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for May 08, 2021

I wore bedroom slippers in my living room. I hope the judge is lenient.

More fodder for the Karens of the world.

Not-so-cold cuts may have their own consequences.

Parked on a driveway. Drove on a parkway.

Putting on a bathrobe after a shower.

I used a dish cloth on a frying pan.

And what’s wrong with baby powder? It works wonders on adults as well as babies for belly roll problems

Walked in Running Shoes. Played Basketball wearing Tennis Shoes.

Wore Athletic Shoes while doing Yoga. Did work in Loafers.

Wore Dress shoes with Slacks. Had Elevator shoes on an Escalator.

But… But… Only the baby powder didn’t have harmful chemicals in it!

Busted?

Drank from the milk carton.

Ate a TV dinner while listening to the radio.

Made Jello in a Casserole Dish. Drank Tea from a Coffee Cup.

Poured Beer into a Wine Glass. Heated Tater Tots in a Cake Pan.

Used bath tissue as toilet paper.

Monsters…

“Microwaved a t-bone steak”

Baby powder is interesting. If they make talcum powder out of talc, and corn oil out of corn, guess what they make baby powder out of.

Give her a break. All the counterspoons were dirty.

You are all sentenced to one hour sitting on the patio in a deck chair.

UMMMM I’m TELLING on YOU!

All y’all havin’ too much pun.

I didn’t Hurry Back—-took my sweet time instead.

Does any driver or car owner put gloves in the glove compartment?

shouldn’t this be snob culture police reports?

The diaper companies should be taken to court for false advertising. The package says “For 15-20 pounds” but they can’t hold 1 pound without overflowing.

Woe to the sheep herder that wears a cowboy hat.

“Knock knock…”

We had breakfast for dinner. Hope they don’t put me away for too long.

That last guy should get life with no possibility of parole.

Played game listed as being for ‘ages 4 and up’ at the age of 2. Substituted a real Pronger for a dinner fork in the road. Drank Goat’s Milk though not actually a goat.