Close to Home by John McPherson for May 29, 2021

Or there’s the ones where you push down the top of the faucet and it comes on, then turns off in less than one second after you let go. You use one soapy hand to hold it and then you switch hands and then you switch hands again and again to finally get all the soap off. Let alone get your hands clean LOL

Is he responsible for those auto-flushing toilets, too?

Next up is Sen. Harry Sharffenheimer, who passed the law that every shopping cart had to have one funky wheel…

The grand prize goes to the group that put motion detectors in the bathrooms. The lights go out right after you close the stall door and sit down. The auto-flushers have photocell charging for the batteries to the circuits that never charge because the lights were off. All of the batteries were discharged by the time the school opened. The bypass button was electrical instead of mechanical so the only way to flush was with a bucket of water from the mop closet. They were custom NiCd batteries that died after three years of life and cost $300 each, approximately the cost of their replacement lever flushers.

And the hot air hand dryers are just as bad !!

Or there’s the motion detector faucet that works to wet your hands, then after you’ve soaped them up they won’t turn on again, no matter how much you wave your hands around under them, so you can’t rinse the soap off.

The devil made him do it….

Yeah, I’m so through with playing Harry Potter and waving my hands around in front of stuff to make it work. Then, whatever it is, decides how much I get of whatever I had to hocus pocus out of it. Phooey!

As his reward, he gets a special place!

Burn the bugger!

But, Ed made a ton of money for that invention!

He also invented the automatic paper towel dispenser that never works.

If it never works, then it’s not automatic. It’s just broken.

And the automatic soap dispenser that doesn’t.

Is the inventor of Legos there as well? My foot would like to have a little chat….

Where is the trident? The trident that is supposed to be up his bum?

Let’s not forget the sadist that decided all fruit needs a little inventory sticker that is almost impossible to peel off and gets stuck in your throat if you eat it.

After seeing all the gadgets that don’t work mentioned here in the comments: auto water faucets, auto soap dispensers, auto toilets, shopping cart wheels, motion detector lights, auto hand dryers, auto towel dispensers, etc., etc…

I have concluded that Ed Smerd should be awarded a special weekend pass to a special part of hell… or even worse, to…

WALMART, WHERE HE HAD ALL THAT CRAP INSTALLED!!

Can’t wait till we’re introduced to the demented twit who designed the wall fastenings for towel racks and TP roll-holders…

“We are stuck with technology. when what we really want is just stuff that works.” —Douglas Adams

I don’t like seeing Bleeb “down there”.

Like the ones in businesses? He deserves his own room there!

Especially if you are a person of color.

My favorite is the building that was designed as three hallways. I only had one light sensor, and if you weren’t in the correct hallway you couldn’t turn on the lights.

My, Bleeb does go to most interesting places, doesn’t he?