Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for June 12, 2021

Catspiracy theory #93.

Sounds like the same rumors some humans have about the vaccine!!

Very timely, Mr. Parisi.

My own conspiracy theory: These laughable conspiracies are created and spread by people who sneer with utter contempt at the people who believe them.

James was ahead of his time.

Don’t be ridiculous. Garfield wouldn’t let any chips uneaten if he gets his hands on em.

I don’t personally believe in the “tracking chip” vaccine theory, but I won’t disrespect anyone who does believe it. HOWEVER, there are at least two reasons why such a chip isn’t necessary:

1. If you ARE being tracked, it’s through your phone and use of social media. 97% of Americans use a cellphone of some sort, way more than the 60% that have been vaccinated.

2. If you ARE being tracked, it’s a very boring watch party for whoever’s doing it: most people are pretty locked in to where they go: work, home, shopping, church, school, rinse and repeat.

It must be true, I saw it on my GPS-enabled smart phone.

Here is what you have to do to keep the Deep State from tracking you.

First, avoid all facilities where you have to provide identification. This includes the local convenience store where you may have to show ID to buy a beer. Quit your job and move to another state. Live in a tent city like the homeless. Steal plates from another car. Drive only at night so the police will not see that the tags are expired. Observe every traffic law to the letter so you will not get pulled over by the police (seek the advice of a black woman on how to do this). Burn your credit card and checkbook. Find a job that pays you cash “under the table” and does not report your earnings to the IRS (seek the advice of an illegal alien to find one of these high-paying jobs and then steal it back from him). Throw your smart phone into a boxcar of a passing train. Cut your internet connectivity and if you have a “smart TV,” leave it behind. Do NOT register to vote (the elections are rigged anyway). Wear a mask everywhere to hide your face and always wear gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints behind.

With all the idiotic ideas some of these people have I wonder if they’re using Mad-Libs “The Conspiracy Theory” version

Today’s Reality Check and Off the Mark have similarly themed cartoons. Is it a conspiracy? Hmmmmmm.

Tuxedo cats are Republicans?

The division in feline political parties: MewAnon vs Cat Lives Matter (9 times).

I thought it was the evil “Snoopy-Marmaduke Cabal”

LOL. See Reality Check.

Well, they are tracking chips, but no GPS. You can get the info if you are within a few inches.