Cornered by Mike Baldwin for July 01, 2021

These things must be carefully weighed & “measured”.

I have a good suit. Just slit it up the back and it will fit.

go out as you came in – best to buried in your birthday suit

Believe it or not, I don’t own a suit and have never actually worn one. Better yet, I don’t own a cell phone either.

Don’t get buried in a tie. Those things are dangerous.

derr… um, okay.

My wife and I have opted for cremation. You come to the wake in a fancy jar! It’s cheaper and move environmentally friendly.

one word:

cremation

Dark, very dark.

Most people that attend my church have opted for cremation. We have had very few burials over the most recent years.

There appears to be a buzzard manikin (buzikin) in the background.

Wouldn’t be caught dead in that one.

Nah. I’ll just rent a tux for the actual ceremony, then they can bury me in my robe and bunny slippers.

But with the popularity of Zoom conferences, I’m mostly selling sports coats. Pants – not so much.

Ha. Cargo shorts, a favourite aloha shirt and a certain paint scheme on my prosthetic leg.

Timely, no?

Do they own a bad suit they can be cremated in?

You don’t need a full suit, just the jacket is enough.

Since I’ve always been an ash hole, I’m opting for cremation!

And that ain’t it.

I don’t even have a decent suit to go to other people’s funerals.

Good. Now I’m wondering what my wife will decide to bury me in. I hope we got ride of that yellow leisure suit.

Yet another pointless post-death expense. Just toss me in the oven and then scatter me on a beach when I’m done with this body.

For me, it’ll be pajamas.

Suits suck. One more reason to opt for cremation.