Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for December 24, 2022

For he’s a jolly good “bellow”.

So…there’s a “Wolf” and a “Larson”, but this isn’t a Jack London story?

Well, that’s breakfast sorted…..

Yup! Raw material extraction for original “crocs”-boots used to be much more dangerous in those days, folks!

“And I fully expect you to wrestle a crocodile and kill it with a knife on my behalf in the near future.”

Tarzan is the Master, kills a lion, stops a heard of elephants, kills a croc, and avoids the hand buzzer gag.

With Tarzan around it a wonder that lions elephants and crocodiles is not extinct yet.

Tarzan is germaphobic and won’t touch Larson’s hand, but he’ll get up close and personal with a river crocodile teeming with swamp microbes…..go figure. Well, Letha & Helen will have their new shoes and safari handbags, and the rest of the safari will have fresh crocodile omelets for breakfast. Yum, yum!

Don’t tell Tarzan. but PETA (featuring Bill Goldberg) is going to be all over his assets.

You’d do the same for me. If you weren’t a total dweeb.

To have friends, be a friend.

“Oh, well, of course,” Larson said. “I’d kill crocs all day for you.”

Whenever you read the phrase “exposing the soft, white throat,” something’s gonna die. (Unless you’re reading erotica.)

Tarzan already has two hands, Larson. He doesn’t need one of yours as a trophy….

As Tarzan finished the hapless croc, he unleashed the victory cry of the bull ape, “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!!!”