That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 28, 2021

“This jerk is going to give her the money I should get as a tip.”

“I would love to take you out for dinner, but I’m right now busy having my boots painted.”

This is the first time I’ve ever seen an artist actually enter a painting to touch it up.

Nothing says ‘True Love’ quite do much as giving your crush a love letter while having your boot cleaned

So this fad of wearing bedclothes outdoors in public pre-dates Madonna?

Yes, Mademoiselle, I will be entering an ass-kick contest. If I should not survive, I would like you to have this letter with my true feelings writ inside.

Yes, he is primarily a bootblack, but I promise you he is also quite adept at touching up those grey roots.

This is the Firestick remote, you want the TV remote…

“It’s a light saber. When I press the button on top of the handle like this, a laser beam shoots out and…oops.”

Her diaphanous gown drew his eyes; / it revealed her desirable thighs. / But she barred his admittance, / for he’d offered a pittance, / (wouldn’t wait ‘til his boot polish dries).

Ebeneezer, when are you going to break down and buy a pair of shoes? Having Tiny Tim paint your feet black every time you go out in public is becoming a family embarrassment.

Said the lass, “It behooves me to state, / that I must withdraw from this blind date. / First, the cloth round your chin / simply reeks of cheap gin, / and a Pekinese perched on your pate.

I’ve taken a shine to you fair lady.

He’d been driving from Maranello/Having picked up a Ferrari (poor fellow)/where he’d stopped in a bar/ere he picked up his car/Now his neck is a column of Jell-o///He wore so much cloth to correct /the horrible spinal defect/that, if he had a neck/at least since the wreck/ twas impossible to detect///Since then, he’s been singing the Blues/and he’s really been hitting the booze/and he can’t be consoled/despite all that we’re told/by a glorious shine on his shoes.

And, as for the ladies’s attention/ he still gets it – but (sorry to mention)/ that they dread every lurch/ that might threaten the perch/ of his head – with extreme apprehension./// I’ve been told that a few ere aghast/ (though til then they’d been having a blast)/ when the poor fellow’s “Kopf”/ completely came off/ when he took a sharp corner too fast !

One supposes one needn’t repeat/ that his efforts remained incomplete/ for he can’t cop a feel/ with his hands on the wheel/ and his head somewhere in the back seat…

“I’m from the future and I’d like you to come back with me and join the WNBA.”

That neck cloth is one way to hide a double chin!

so nice to meet you. please ignore my hickey dickey…

looks like the artist’s apprentice is still finishing up the boots.

If it’s only 1797, you have 18 years to work out a solution.

Was getting your socks painted to look like boots a real thing back then?

Excuse me, my dear, but could you step back six feet until I adjust my neck gaiter?

“Hey lady! What’s with all these concrete cylinders?”

“The working girls sit on them at night to show they haven’t been in the biz too long. Avoid the ones who appear to be sitting on the ground.”

“She’s got legs, she knows how to use them”, actually really really long legs????

Pull my finger.

What I want to know is why is the guy holding a hat when he appears to be wearing a cavalry helmet?

“Well, you might want to consider painting over your sheer dress because I can follow your legs all the way up to your ….. waist.”

In spite of all that/At last they down sat/She with her high bosom/He with his woo some/They settled on where it was at.

" Madam, here is my lawyer’s card. He will be contacting you forthwith regarding the injuries you’ve caused me with your carnal contortions.

As you can see, I am forced to wear this neck brace and will unable to wear trousers for weeks! "

Dear lady, my name is Alexander Bogainville DeHavilland. You may kiss my finger…

Hi, I’m an idealized woman from the future whose legs are half again as long as a normal human’s. I will become a famous icon that will f£(% with women’s minds for centuries. Fear my awesome power.

“Is that a cigarette you’re holding? I’d walk a mile for a Camel.”

The models both asked Louis-Leopold for ‘a little head’; unfortunately, he took them literally.

“The hat? Oh, well, I had a layover in 1836, someplace called the Alamo. There was a Mr. Crockett who said he wouldn’t be needing it anymore.”

Time-travler dude is getting his socks painted and today’s gag is about a flashdrive in 1815?

Incroyable and Merveilleuse in Paris, 1797: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Louis-L%C3%A9opold_Boilly_-_Incroyable_et_Merveilleuse_in_Paris,_1797.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this 1801 painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/06/masterpiece-2736.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s OK) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 10 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/05/14?comments=visible 

has the prior (my comment there pointed to the same artist info URLs that I pointed to at Mr. Melcher’s blog entry).

Although she pitied his throat affliction, Caroline told him in no uncertain terms, that he could go f——- himself.

I think the gal is warding off evil with crossed fingers.

As the century draws to a close/ men’s trousers draw closer to hose/ and as for the ladies/ they’re headed for Hades/ in their dresses where everything shows!

Has anyone seen any alternate history stories that have Napoleon winning at Waterloo?

Bill: “Well Ted, looks like we made it to the past. But, dude – you don’t want to look in a mirror!”

When he was in a painting, even the painter wanted to be in it. He was the most interesting man in the world.

Oh my lady, alas I must attend a meeting now. But here is my address card and my evening is wide open as is my bedroom door!