That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for July 21, 2021

When you can be certain the waitress spit in the food.

The waitress didn’t want to listen to their queries about her love life, but she knew better than to accuse Cyrano of being “nosy.”

I see that Jacque is an ass man.

I know that litter has always been a thing, but that urn looks expensive. It’s like seeing the streets of New York littered with iphones, after all!

“There’s a tip for you if you show us some hair.”

I see big & doofy never learned the first rule of picking a wingman: make sure he’s less good looking than you are.

“What’s to smile about when I have to humor louts like you?”

Gretel knew it took two to make eye contact, and she wasn’t going to be one of those two with either grinning Bert or foppish Ernie.

They both thought of the taverner’s daughter / as a lovely young lamb to the slaughter. / They were vulgar and rude / when she brought them their food, / and enraged when for drink she poured water. /// One leered, “Girl, come and see my Big Tip!” / While the other implored her to strip. / They slandered her service, / but what made her nervous / was the threat to return with a whip. /// Through it all she was coy and demure. / She knew well how to handle a boor. / She stayed silent and shy / and would not meet their eye, / for she’d sprinkled their stew with manure.

“Have you ever considered, my dear/ the joys of a film career ?/ You’re too pretty by far/ to toil in this bar -/ and my carriage is parked rather near…/// I can offer you wealth and fame/ for I’m big in the movie game/ you’ll be O, so much richer/ just abandon that pitcher/ – by the way – Harvey Weinstein’s my name..”

“Serving drinks….”

The original ‘Hooters’…..The waitresses outfits sure have changed over the centuries, but the clientele are still the same!

you can tell by the jumbo spittoon that it’s a classy place…

We have a bathroom inside – that’s traditionally where aholes get service.

“Ok, you balanced that one really well. Third time’s a charm.”

The inn on the village green/ was not noted for fine cuisine/ yet even so/ Twas the place to go/ for the young barmaid’s breasts could be seen/// It attracted a coarse clientele/ by employing this bounteous belle/ whose visible nips/ assured generous tips / and the lady displayed them well…/// (but I’m leaving it here for now/ for Ahab has called from the bow/ where he’s spotted a whale/ (or perhaps an email)/ so my absence I hope you’ll allow..)

Hoping for a big ‘tip’ if you take my meaning.

“Ha ha, yes allow me to introduce myself, I’m the Duke of Earl.”

Unable to find a date, D’Artagnan would go out drinking with his mother. Not surprisingly, this did not impress the waitress!

Just trying to earn a living, meneer.

Just a suggestion, dearie – the serving wenches in Merrie Olde England started making a lot more in tips after they ditched the fichu.

This wine you’ve brought is corked / So my dear, you won’t be getting porked / by either the Duke or the Viscount of York!

I don’t have a problem with that / but I kind of fancy the hat / If you’d give it to me / I’ll try not to pee / in your still cooking order of brats*

Mispronunciation of brats to make this rhyme brought to you by Artistic License and my unwillingness to think any harder about this lame effort.

She’s thinking “I should just poison this clowns drink.”

“Jez, lousy tips, less than minimum wage, and loud obnoxious jerks like these clowns, all the time! I was better off at McDonald’s.”

Tavern with guests and young waitress: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Philippe_Jacques_Van_Br%C3%A9e_-_Schankstube_mit_G%C3%A4sten_und_Jungen_Kellnerin.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this oil on panel, circa 1861, roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/07/masterpiece-2753.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Please don’t toss your empties, Sir, we have a policy of reusing our jugs.

Olive Oyl looks good after putting on a few pounds.

“Is that a beaver on your butt, or are you just glad to see me? Bwa-hahawaha. Oh, the hell with it. Just give me the check.”

One more beer and he’ll mistakenly gives the wrong answer to the dress and butt question.

John Candy, Dining with LaRue.

So my clever disguise fooled you, mon ami. En garde!

As summer jobs go, this beat the abattoir. But not by much.

the three musketeers at a bar ,only one was more happy to be inside with his boyfriend

Once again, Jon and Henri were made to sit at the outdoor non-bathing table.

Suave Aramis had drunk to his fill, / meanwhile Porthos (in mufti) was still / flirting with the cute wench, / and inside, by the bench, / tipsy Athos was stuck with the bill.

No sir, I am NOT a Frenchy! I am a Belgy!! :>)

Come to the big city they said. You will have fun and adventure they said. Oh well, I’m reminded of my pet pig back home …