The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for September 08, 2021

Always blamed, even if he did the right thing.

She’s just sore because, if he had gotten the wrong size, it would have given her an excuse to take it back to the store for a refund, and then get a ton of other stuff in exchange for it.

You shoulda got her a triple XL so she could grow into it.

What the deuce?!!

(With thanks to Stewie, from the ‘Family Guy’)

He remembered the size clothes you wear it’s not his fault you’re a cow

He really didn’t know her size. He just bought the largest size the store carried.

“Here’s yer sign” !

You monster!

Face the facts Gladys-you aren’t all that svelte. :P

All he had to do was switch the size tag with one that reads “S”.

So it turns out, I’m NOT the only guy this has ever happened to after all. That’s a relief learning I have company.

Can’t win for losing…

Gladys knows she is big. She just doesn’t like being reminded of the fact…

uh… what did he do wrong? Or did she not want to know what size she wears for others to see?

Gladys has no sylph-control.

Rookie mistake.. buy a smaller size and let her exchange in on the sly.

In a comedy routine, it’s not just the punchline, it’s the other person’s look!

Brutus: “Do these discussions make my head look fat?”

“Well excuuuuuuuse me for buying your correct size”. is what I would have said, exactly in that tone. However, Brutus would never say it in that tone. He just can’t win because he is, THE Born Loser…..

OK. Good to know, should have bought the sweater in a petite size. And given her the receipt so she can exchange it

She meant you should have bought her a size SMALL…

Buying the right size wasn’t his first mistake, buying her clothes period.

No man should ever, under ANY circumstances buy his girlfriend, or wife ANY item of clothing unless she is present in the store with him, and has tried said item on.

To ignore this guidance will result in an immediate fight, several nights on the couch/in the spare bedroom, and at any point in time the memory of said action will cross said girlfriend’s/wife’s mind at any time, and then lead to another fight, and more nights on said couch/in spare bedroom.

This is akin to the 11th commandment.

The only workaround I have found is to buy a T-Shirt you like that she will inevitably steal and begin wearing “to be close to you.” So buy two of those so you’ll still have one.

Gotcha!

(Though of this earlier and should have posted it.;-D). Face it Gladys, you’re more SWELL than SVELTE. ;D

Well. There’s a reason he’s called the Born Loser.