That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 30, 2021

Pick the right marble, take a shot. Grandma was wasted before lunch.

Dang it. That was my glasses case! Now where did I put my dentures?

Every evening Claire sits in her chair / playing marble-on-board solitaire. / From her manner you’d swear / that she isn’t “all there,” / but do not for this woman despair. /// There are things of which you’re unaware. / Like, her day-job’s translating Voltaire. / When her game ends she’ll pair / with her room-mate, Pierre, / to continue their torrid affair.

The moment when Gramma ate the marbles and played with the biscuit.

Agatha was devastated to learn that her prized possession, a necklace of large varicolored pearls, had finally been appraised as sourballs.

I don’t think we can call it Chinese Checkers anymore, I think it is called “Marcheck-19 ” now…

She had prepared a meal of glazed pearl onions, poured herself some wine, and was fairly certain that the missing fork and knife were causing that pain in her hips.

When there’s no one around her to chatter, / Aggie stares at glass balls on a platter. / At nay-sayers she’ll gloat / when she gets them to float / just by thinking it. Mind-over-matter.

Suddenly, strangely, Helen found the plate with the preserved eyeballs of her several poisoned lovers quite discomfiting. It was as though they were looking back at her…well..accusingly. Perhaps it was it last time to stop playing with them..Having fed them their dinners fateful/ Helen gathered their sad eyes by the plateful/ so they’d never be lonely/ for their sweet “one and only“/Helen thought that they ought to be grateful.

Her collection of glazed kidney stones.

Seriously… Don’t let anyone show you how to complete marbles solitaire… The method is unforgettable and it will spoil the game for you forever… I speak from sad experience…

15,000 oysters later Helen finally found enough pearls to make a necklace.

Absolutely no one recognizes Dolly Parton without her makeup on.

By the time Helen finished taking her morning meds, it was time to start taking her lunchtime ones.

She may be losing her marbles, but she’s still on her rocker.

Waiting for her Match.Com date to show up, hoping she didn’t get cat fished.

She had spent her life freely handing out her pearls of wisdom, but now this is all she has left.

Poison Pill Roulette was no longer a thrill after Helen’s friend “found” the only deadly pill weeks ago. Still, Helen played on.

_Nothin’ could be finer, than a pill that stopped angina, in the mor-or-ning!

Helen believed that a plate of Tom Cat Oysters every day kept her young and vital. (Not to mention keeping the stray cat population under control)

In ‘Rest You Merry’ by Charlotte MacLeod, a lost marble leads to solving a murder. (one of my favorite books, and a holiday tradition)

Build-A-Bear Workshop’s less-successful offshoot: Build-Your-Dentures.

Jacks mother couldn’t believe he traded the cow for these.

Mrs. Queeg decided to give her favorite steelies to her son Philip to celebrate his assignment to command the U.S.S. Caine.

When she loses them all, she can be a sales rep.

“These ballbearings should be enough ammo for my slingshot when those pesky kids get on my lawn again.”

Solitaire: 

https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/solitaire-46111 

has info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting, inscribed with 

C.SPENCELAYH 

1952 

at the lower right.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2781.html 

So far, 3 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/08/27?comments=visible 

has the prior, and my 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2778.html 

comment has the artist info that I used to point to here. Again, due to copyright issues (the artist died in 1958 and the painting’s date is after 1926), I can’t use Wikimedia Commons for this painting.

“Paint-by-number with marbles isn’t as much fun as using actual paint, but at least it’s free.”

Bhula spends her days no, counting her different brands of opiates, which Medicare sends her each week, she’s lucky that supply exceeds demand.

No one would ever suspect that Tess was a master criminal, the head of the international cartel which controls the smuggling and sale of turtle eggs.

I wish that guy with the donkey and sleigh will hurry up and bring my fish for dinner. Surely he is smart enough not to use the cart.

So glad to be remembered by so many of you !

The painter, Charles Spencelayh, grew tired of merely immortalizing moments of loneliness and depression among the elderly. He decided to do something to improve the situation. He arranged for the solitaire woman and the barometer man to meet.

They hated each other, and blamed him for getting their hopes up. Charles vowed never again to get involved in the lives of his models. And that is why that farm couple and their donkey froze to death.

“It was the strawberries.”