FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for October 29, 2021

Know of any 16-year-olds who look like 12-year-olds?

If you walk like Groucho Marx, you can make yourself look shorter. You could also go as a Russian dancer, but you’d get really tired.

I think that trick or treating should only be for little kids. Maybe ten years old, max.

But then, the world doesn’t work based on my opinions. Teenagers don’t seem to be embarrassed to go trick or treating in a lot of places.

I am almost 40 and I am too old for Trick or Treating….

My 45 y.o. daughter still likes to dress up in costume for Halloween parties, but she doesn’t do T&T. She had a brief career as a movie make-up artist.

When the 16 year olds without costumes start showing up, our light goes out.

You don’t need to shave, Peter, you’re cursed with no facial hair.

I think my last time trick or treating I was 14. In my defense, I was barely five feet tall and looked younger than I was.

I remember the day I decided I was too old, my mom made me take my sister for trick or treat, she made like a bandit and I had to suffer watch her eat her goody’s.

When we hit 12 the school mates asked each other if they were going trick or treating. We all said no so we’d look mature. I’m sure a lot of us did anyway. Why pass up on the candy?

Plenty of older kids in my hood come to my door looking for a treat. I ignore them and give their treats to younger kids at the door.

The last year I went trick or treating I was 11. By the time next Hallowe’en arrived I was 6 feet tall, 270 lbs, deep voice and shaving. I was mistaken for a substitute teacher before I turned 13, and have never had to show ID to buy alcohol, go to bars or anywhere else.

Diabetes, thy name is Peter Fox.

I’m 30 & can pass for early 20s, or even 18.