Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for November 20, 2021

Are we ready for another blonde joke? As with bullfighting (the bull doesn’t always lose) not all blonde jokes end alike or are alike – except for all of them being excruciatingly funny:

A blonde is pulled over for speeding. The officer comes to her window and says, “Ma’am” (all cops say “Ma’am”) “you were driving 20 miles per hour over the speed limit. May I see your driver’s license and registration, please?”

“I don’t have a driver’s license, officer,” says the blonde. “And as for the registration, well, I don’t know where it might be. You see, I stole this car.”

The officer is deeply suspicious by this point. “Please open your trunk, Ma’am,” he says.

“Oh, I can’t do that, officer,” she responds. “There’s a dead body in there.”

Fully alarmed now, the officer tells her to keep her hands where he can see them, and he calls for backup. Within minutes, four squad cars screech to a stop, with the precinct captain in the lead. He approaches the blonde and demands to see her driver’s license.

“Here it is, Captain,” she says. “And here’s my automobile registration, too.”

“Well…please open your trunk, Ma’am.” She does so, revealing nothing more ominous than a spare tire. “Well, what the – my officer said you had no license, no registration, you’re driving a stolen car, and that you have a dead body in your trunk!”

“He did, did he? Huh – I bet he told you I was speeding, too.”

The elk should have worn a more appropriate attire.

How is Benny Benson doing now?

Chuck Yeager did something similar in the front seat of an F15 when he was 94

As to the flag design? I found it derivative.

:-)

I’m never going to top the dumb blonde joke.

Kudos to Clyde Bridger, Chuck Yeager and any other seasoned citizens who are able to pass the FAA physical required to fly legally. A pilot’s license can be good for life, but there’s that additional requirement of passing the flight physical and the FAA takes their responsibility very seriously.

Once again I tag onto one of the RBION topics, this time it’s aviation.

An airplane accidentally dropped a shipment of oranges, knives, and bombs onto an island, so, the pilot landed the plane to retrieve the items.

While walking down the road, he noticed a beggar laughing with joy.He asked him, “Why are you laughing?” The beggar responded, “I was walking down the road and oranges fell from heaven!”.

After getting the oranges, the pilot continued walking down the road. He approached a beggar who was crying. “What happened?”, he asked the beggar.

“I was walking down the road and knives fell from heaven!”.

He continued down the road, searching for the last items. He then approached a kid crying with laughter.

“Why are you laughing?” asked the pilot. The kid replied, “I farted, and the building behind us exploded.”

Until next time.

My aviation contribution for today.

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft!A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees!The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone!He yelled,“Mayday, mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack!I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told mebefore we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory!I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph! Mayday, mayday!”The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone!“Calm down, we acknowledge you and we’ll guide you down after a few questions!The first thing is not to panic! Remain calm!”He began his series of questions:Tower : “How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?”Aircraft : “I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me!”Tower : “Okay, that’s good, remain calm! How do you know you’re traveling at 180 mph?”Aircraft : “I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me!”Tower : “Okay, this is great so far, but it’s heavily overcast!So how do you know you’re flying upside down?”Aircraft : “The $#!+ in my pants is running out of my shirt collar!!”

That elk made the news in inland SoCal.

“..and this time my little brother was not on the handlebars.”

Take care, may Schwinn spoke polisher Joey “When They Are Spinning I See The Future” Bidenord be with you, and gesundheit.

The T-33 was a trainer, not a fighter.

Bryde Clidger One time I was 91 years old.

One time I was three years old. And why weren’t they able to cut the tire off at first if nothing else?

One time I was 14 years old.

May the Lord be with you.

The Colorado Wildlife Officials later said the elk was a little rubbery and tasted like chicken but was not bad with a splash or two of A-1. Believe It or Not!

A T33 was a jet Trainer not a fighter

90 Year Old Clyde Bridger not only flew a jet trainer in a fly over, he also dropped napalm on a peaceful protest below. When asked about it he claimed that he loved the smell of napalm in the morning. It smelled like… victory. No chargers were brought against Clyde because there were so many burning cars, homes and businesses already it did not do any additional damage.

Benny Benson was thrilled to learn that his design was chosen for the State Flag of Alaska. “It’s a moose”, claimed Benny, the state’s only 37 year old 7th grader.

As another Nam Vet…WELCOME HOME CLYDE.

Alaska had a state flag before becoming a state, what planning.

To remove the tire, they cut off the elk’s antlers. They didn’t have the tools to cut the tire off in the time they had.

Man, and I thought Seward’s Folly was the original purchase of Alaska….

Now they want to tear down the statue of Benny Benson because he used to put tires around necks of moose

Oh dear! What a lovely necklace!

Elk: “Aagh, they stripped me naked!”

No mention that the elk must have been tire-ed? i guess I’m the only one to sink that low.

OK, the T-33 was a trainer, but it was a P-80/F-80 lengthened 3 ft to make it a 2 seater

There were also 2 seat versions of the P-51 , P-38, and F-5 (I sure others as well)