Steve Silver understands that Jewish humor stems from a long tradition of “If we make them laugh, maybe they won’t kill us.” The following is dedicated to Silver (who came to my defense admirably last night). Hi-HO!!
In the early part of the twentieth century, the merchants in the Jewish ghetto of New York City tended to advertise their businesses with window displays. A butcher might have a chicken or a leg of lamb in his window; a tailor, a suit. So when a man needed a clock repaired, he saw a window with a clock in it and entered the establishment. However, the shopkeeper shook his head in negation. “I don’t repair clocks,” he said.
“Well, what do you do?” the man asked.
“I’m a mohel,” the proprietor told the man. “I perform circumcisions on eight-day old Jewish boys.”
“But why do you have a clock in your window?”
“If you were a mohel, what would you have in your window?”
A man was walking down the street, and saw a cardboard sign set up in a window of a barber shop “What do you think? We give haircuts for free!” it read. The man thought, Wow, I’d like one of them free haircuts. So he goes inside, and the barber gives him a great haircut. When he’s done he say “That’ll be 40 bucks, sir.” “But…that sign in your window says you offer free haircuts?” the man protested. The barber looked puzzled, and took the sign off the window. “Dammit,” he muttered. He got another piece of cardboard and scrawled on it with a marker. He turned it around to show the man: “WHAT?! DO YOU THINK WE GIVE HAIRCUTS FOR FREE?”
Vacant homes all over America and millions of homeless all over America. Basic humanity takes another hit.
Take care, may self-loving real estate shark mogul Barbara “I Built My Empire From Scratch and If You Try To Take It I’ll Scratch Your Eyes Out” Corcorord be with you, and gesundheit.
Well, here I am – late again. Snakes seem to be the topic of the day, beginning with RBION and our esteemed friend, @stevesilver48, so who am I to change direction? This joke is also educational.
My friend and I were talking about venomous snakes. I told him there are two main types of venom: neurotoxin, which affects the nervous system, and hemotoxin, which breaks down cellular walls and damages tissue. Most of the indigenous venomous snakes in the U.S. are part of the second group.
I explained, “It can be deadly if the venom is carried through the bloodstream to the heart.”
“Well, how long would it take the venom to get to your heart?”, he asked.
Everyone moved out of Cabot Cove, since their nincompoop of a police chief couldn’t stop all the serial killers. An elderly woman can only do so much, you know!
eromlig almost 3 years ago
Steve Silver understands that Jewish humor stems from a long tradition of “If we make them laugh, maybe they won’t kill us.” The following is dedicated to Silver (who came to my defense admirably last night). Hi-HO!!
In the early part of the twentieth century, the merchants in the Jewish ghetto of New York City tended to advertise their businesses with window displays. A butcher might have a chicken or a leg of lamb in his window; a tailor, a suit. So when a man needed a clock repaired, he saw a window with a clock in it and entered the establishment. However, the shopkeeper shook his head in negation. “I don’t repair clocks,” he said.
“Well, what do you do?” the man asked.
“I’m a mohel,” the proprietor told the man. “I perform circumcisions on eight-day old Jewish boys.”
“But why do you have a clock in your window?”
“If you were a mohel, what would you have in your window?”
Bada bing, etc. Out!
Caldonia almost 3 years ago
They look like cute little garden gnomes!
Templo S.U.D. almost 3 years ago
Oh, that is just harsh up in the northernmost eastern USA. Hope all goes well in Maine real estate.
Caldonia almost 3 years ago
A man was walking down the street, and saw a cardboard sign set up in a window of a barber shop “What do you think? We give haircuts for free!” it read. The man thought, Wow, I’d like one of them free haircuts. So he goes inside, and the barber gives him a great haircut. When he’s done he say “That’ll be 40 bucks, sir.” “But…that sign in your window says you offer free haircuts?” the man protested. The barber looked puzzled, and took the sign off the window. “Dammit,” he muttered. He got another piece of cardboard and scrawled on it with a marker. He turned it around to show the man: “WHAT?! DO YOU THINK WE GIVE HAIRCUTS FOR FREE?”
i_am_the_jam almost 3 years ago
So what was wrong with Maine?
derdave969 almost 3 years ago
So the conclusion we reach about the Saw-Scaled Viper is that it is the only venomous snake in it’s range.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 3 years ago
Vacant homes all over America and millions of homeless all over America. Basic humanity takes another hit.
Take care, may self-loving real estate shark mogul Barbara “I Built My Empire From Scratch and If You Try To Take It I’ll Scratch Your Eyes Out” Corcorord be with you, and gesundheit.
dv1093 almost 3 years ago
That’s because in India the snakes can’t move without bumping into someone.
dv1093 almost 3 years ago
No one’s moving to Main until Steven King moves out.
oakie817 almost 3 years ago
wonder how much my pink flamingos are worth
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 3 years ago
Well, here I am – late again. Snakes seem to be the topic of the day, beginning with RBION and our esteemed friend, @stevesilver48, so who am I to change direction? This joke is also educational.
My friend and I were talking about venomous snakes. I told him there are two main types of venom: neurotoxin, which affects the nervous system, and hemotoxin, which breaks down cellular walls and damages tissue. Most of the indigenous venomous snakes in the U.S. are part of the second group.
I explained, “It can be deadly if the venom is carried through the bloodstream to the heart.”
“Well, how long would it take the venom to get to your heart?”, he asked.
“It depends on where you’re bitten.”
“Well, how about Kansas City?”
mindjob almost 3 years ago
Turns out those Egyptian Sphinx statues were used in ancient Egypt as garden decorations too
J. R. M. almost 3 years ago
I’ve heard of a few States in the U.S. that look great in the rear view mirror. Never thought Maine would be one of them.
Bilan almost 3 years ago
The saw-scaled viper … kills more people within its territory than all other venomous snakes combined.
Why would the viper kill other snakes?
Jogger2 almost 3 years ago
OK, so within the saw-scaled viper’s territory, what percent of the population of snakes are that species?
Gweedo -it's legal here- Murray almost 3 years ago
The people in those saw-viper infested areas need to do like the rattlesnake hunt in Texas every year.
Stephen Gilberg almost 3 years ago
Kinda surprised I hadn’t heard of the saw-scaled viper. Then again, maybe most people who know about it don’t live to tell about it.
Scott S almost 3 years ago
Everyone moved out of Cabot Cove, since their nincompoop of a police chief couldn’t stop all the serial killers. An elderly woman can only do so much, you know!
PuppyPapa almost 3 years ago
So — WERE they authentic Egyptian antiques?
pbr50138 almost 3 years ago
Seeing the item about the statues, reminds me of the “V nickels” my dad gave us when we were kids. I wonder what happened to them?