Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for December 10, 2021

Find me a mirror and your reflection.

Gomez Adams?

Yes Dear, you and penile desfinction is why old faithful quit his Band.

Whatever you say. Love your Cool Blue shades. They match your Western-style bow tie! And your shaggy mustache goes so well with your ultra-short hairstyle.

As for me?

Well, I’m quite perfect, as all the Discerning Lame agree….

My shades always match my bowtie.

… your point?…

…turn me on blind man…

…how you fudge you shall be fudged…

…accept he didn’t say fudge…

…by ‘you’, Tucker doesn’t mean me…

…he means them…

…and by ‘them’ Tucker means the other half of America…

…the ones that don’t know whom brandon is…

…or what a Nascar nap is…

…the ones that are not aghast that lame is lame is lame…

…and can prove to you that no where does it ever say that Humpty Dumpty was an egg…

Hahahaha!

She has done gone from being a cartoonist to being a truth-teller -

from Twisted to Tennyson

That’s not ‘other’ news, that’s the headline.

How is that news?

The first news items must have been alarmist, biased, and tendentious. As for your “other news,” I think it’s simply false.

As long as I don’t show up on Headline News or Late Breaking News, I’m down with it! I’d also prefer to avoid News at Eleven…

News people will be telling us the bad part. Then wreck the culprit’s life in a flash bulletin moment.

I didn’t think you would notice.

…being Frog Applause, every font was covered except the ‘ella’ font…

On the Twenty-first day of Frogsmas, the Resplendent Cartoonist gave to me . . .

Twenty-one Fecal Plumage,

Twenty Comics Not Working, Nineteen Lame Subliminals, Eighteen Haters Hating,

Seventeen Vlads-A-Pounding, Sixteen Romper-Chomper Thingamabobs,

Fifteen Twits-A-Twirling, Fourteen Captains Spacing, Thirteen Pickles Peeking,

Twelve Squiggly Green Jello Cups, Eleven Headless Music Box Dancers,

Ten Teresas leaping, Nine Annoying Relatives, Eight Cheesy Bread Winning,

Seven Yams With Sprinkles, Six McMuffin Alignments

. . . Five Golden Tater Tots! . . .

Four Squirrel Jerky, Three Mocking Frogs, Two Mince Pies,

And a Spork Hanging From a Pear Tree.

Is OTHER news really news …?

I already knew that.

Despite a lifetime of staunch heterosexuality Mr. Mustache looks kinda good to me. Stupid pandemic!

There was nothing in Amy’s experience or history that could serve in any way as a template for behavior in the present situation. To be honest, she was quite relieved to hear, albeit from an invisible water spirit that only she could see, that she was not suffering from a severe mental and emotional breakdown, which she had actually long expected, given her aforementioned chaotic early life and the fact that she had packed it away and hidden it deep, like some murder victim. Still, there were questions that could solidify her sense of well-being and remove some of the lingering doubt as to whether there was something seriously wrong with her, or just everybody else, a distinction without a practical difference, really, but comforting all the same. At least there was no fish biting her nose now.

Rubber, glue and all that.

Mirror mirror on the wall

Who’s the most delusional of all?

There’s no I in team, but there’s also no you in me, wait, what?

Everybody’s strange but me and thee. And sometimes even thee’s a bit strange.