That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 23, 2021

The Parrot: I’m going to make a break for it while these guys try to figure out the distance between Lisbon and Rio de Janeiro.

Christopher Columbus (at the far left) returned from Hispaniola and presented his discoveries to Europe’s religio-scientific community. Having examined several exotic plants and a parrot, they now convinced the explorer to approach the hole in their containment globe and provide a sample of this thing he called syphilis.

Christopher Columbus, explaining how he always knew that the New World was there.

The Pope’s man, explaining just how much of a personal donation is required for the Pope to grant the entire New World to the Spanish Crown.

“Missed it by that much.”

“missed it by this much!”

Christopher Columbus, Vasco da Gama and Amerigo Vespucci discussing what they should name the new world. Vespucci won by trickery.

Look Chris, Ahab here thinks you’ve got the dimensions wrong. He thinks the world is only this big. So if you squeeze this globe a little tighter I can get you in for an extra day at the Holiday Inn Express, where if you book two you get an extra day free!

It’s the annual convocation

Of the devious delegation

Who meet to decide

Which stop on his ride

Will be Santa’s “sh*t-hole nation” !///

It’s an honor that some nations covet

(Though a few think themselves above it)

But it seems that this year

The crap will land here

And half of us are gonna love it…

He can pee down any chimney….

3 explorers, a firefox, and a google.

“You say the world is flat one more time, and you’re gonna get this compass upside your head.”

NORAD’s technology in the 1950s.

The “Columbian Exchange”

Introduced species scary and strange

Into places exotic

While rulers despotic

Compete to extend their range…///

The “locals” could never compete

They were always doomed to defeat

For their pale-skinned foes

Had a thing in their “hose”

Which is known as a spirochete…///

The outcomes of matters like these

Are so often resolved ( if you please)

Not by humans at all-

But by critters so small

That they’re enemies nobody sees…///

If we should survive our own wars

And, some day, tread the dry wastes of Mars,

We will bring other species

In our food and our feces..

Who knows what we’ll spread to the stars ?

I’m just saying, if the Good Lord had intended for all of us to retire to Florida, he would have already cleared the marshes and had condos waiting for us.

Hey, he’s in a sleigh. All he has to do is stand up, hang on, and unzip.

After their long run on Are You Being Served the cast found themselves working in a new version of Around The Horn for the History Channel.

FUNNY!!

“At his age, his prostate is about this big…”

Clap on, clap off.

“I don’t care what my urologist says- it’s this big!”

Academic nerds shown here trying to figure out where the hot chicks live.

Man in black: I truly believe Senior Columbus that the earth is flat!

Some of these models need to learn to stop asking the artist, “Can I get a little head?”

I still say it’s a pelican!

Dispute among cosmographers (Allegory of the New World): 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jos%C3%A9_Antonio_da_Cunha_Couto_-_Disputa_entre_cosm%C3%B3grafos.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

 

A larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2015/12/masterpiece-1372.html 

I pointed to the artist’s bio in a comment there when that blog entry was posted, and have now added a Google translation reply (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval). First work, by this artist, used here (2 times total, including this Throwback Thursday repeat). 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2015/12/24?comments=visible 

has the first time this was used here (the 17 hyperlinks in my comment there have been deactivated, and the line breaks removed, but perhaps the text remains informative).

I’m telling you, her globes had to be THIS big!

“It’s okay, but I need more accuracy. Make it smaller and flatter.”

He can pee in a bottle like everyone else

Father jocko (far right) trying to explain the flat earth theory according to the church,all the others know he is wrong, he does too. all will have to wait until C. Columbus gets back.

Columbus was worried. More than a month after he had removed the egg from its enormous nest in the Indies, it was now clear that there was something alive inside— trying to get out. He and da Gama didn’t believe that holding onto the wooden hoops surrounding it would be sufficient to contain whatever emerged when the egg hatched, and the scientists cared only about their theories and measurements. “Vespucci! You like dressing as a priest. PRAY FOR US !!!”

There once was a priest named Vespucci

Who insisted on garments by Gucci

Every hair shirt he wore

That proud logo bore

As well as the leash of his poochie…

The thing that emerged from the egg

Was a creature of long, shapely leg

She turned men to jelly

(Blew away Botticelli !)

Sometimes even Mars had to beg..

With “poetical” efforts inelegant

Apace we return to our element .

There can be no excuse

For what’s been set loose -

A tsunami of drivel, irrelevant !