That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 07, 2022

Rejected ideas for menu covers.

Not the most promising of Friday paintings, but they are naked, so…

Who ever looked at those and thought “yum”?

That’ll give you nightmares.

I don’t know what the heck that is, but it came out of my cat

/// Here’s some facts for you eager shrimp eaters,

know that not all are clean, raised by breeders.

Parasites and dead skin

from a dead fish’s fin

is their diet, they’re true bottom feeders.

The artist could have at least added a slice of lemon to the painting.

Who are you calling shrimp?

If this is an invitation

To partake of a tasty Crustacean,

I do not dine in venues

With “pics” on their menus..

They are simply beneath my station.

Hey Ish, what rhymes with ‘Mudbugs’?

I can’t think of a damn thing so I’m going to bed and hope I don’t have nightmares of todays subject. (Ugh rhymes with Mudbug)

I get it now, but… You know, sir, if you do have a voice extinction, it would have been faster to point at the menu.

My lunch today, prawn tempura. He must have painted fast, before they spoiled.

/// The King Crab justly earned his great fame.

In comparison, shrimp’s put to shame.

The shrimp can’t do a thing

to checkmate the crab King

for he’s only a prawn in the game.

the painting’s original title is crayfish on acid playing twister…

I’m sure there is quite a tail behind this painting.

Get ’em at Hibachi.

“Hey everybody, check out the hot tub. Let’s go!”

It’s not a desirable fate

To find yourself splayed on a plate

And not merely splayed

But nudely portrayed

With your friends- and about to be ate !

Yet they seem so serene and sedate

Though their outcome’s beyond debate

It’s the same as our own.

The only unknown

Is the expiration date….

Nightmare which inspired the Stones’ “19th Nervous Breakdown”

Where I live, there are lots of shrimps farms – in fact, there’s one right across the road from my casa de campo. I often get my camarón directly from there. Large camarónes run about $2.50 a kilo.

Mix together a bottle of Heinz chili sauce, a big glob of prepared horseradish, juice of one lemon, dash of Worcestershire sauce. Boil shrimp, peel and devein. Dip in sauce.

Now I’m drooling.

crime scene photo from the most recent episode of CSI: Under the Ocean

No one here asked to see a painting of a shrimp orgy!

I hope.

When Zamor started the painting they were all in a straight line.

This isn’t avant-garde. These are just prawns of the establishment.

“Spawn of the Prawn.”

Would you settle for lobster or crab

Or a salmon displayed on a slab

Of warm, fragrant cedar -

Or is that bottom-feeder

The only crustacean you’d grab ?

Do you find that the sole solution

To the needs of your constitution

Is a segmented species

Which feeds on fish feces ?

You belong in an institution.

oh puhleeze

They’re just ocean crickets.

Shrimps: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Emmanuel_Zamor_-_camar%C3%B5es,_1916.jpg 

(best viewed with Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this oil on panel roughly US half letter size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2022/01/masterpiece-2867.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Kind of creepy how their eyes follow me around the room . . . . :)

Looks like something my cat just horked up.

The shrimp was quite delicious

The vasodilation pernicious

When the epinephrine didn’t work

They had to bury the poor jerk

In the cemetery behind Saint Aloysius

Depicted as yeccchhh! in the picture,

In the shell, they earn no great ardor,

But relieve them of that bug-like stricture,

I’ll love them in sauce all Zamor!

Hechter in the middle is telling the others what is about to happen, no they said, it’s just a bath.

@Call me Ishmael all primp and proper, will ignore the shrimp in the mornin’ … or ever

/// Camarão like these come off demonic.

They’re aggressive from hurts which are chronic.

Been called “shrimps” since their birth.

Push for some sense of worth.

They’ve the complex called Napoleonic.

Haiku: _

— Once, we were as these.

Atavistic revulsion

post-evolution.

In hock to the “Prawnshop”..