Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for February 01, 2022

I’ve seen/heard of nipple piercings, but bonsai nipples is a new one on me. I imagine a comfortable and pleasingly accentuating support wear may be a challenge to find. I wonder if the Lame Depot division of the Bathmat conglomerate, might have something in the garden and “landscaping” department.

A well fit bra and a bra fit well. From Steam Fitters Union. Don’t becometh steamed over a loose or tight fitting bra my maiden.

There are manroots, but they’re almost certainly not what you’re thinking.

The Cucamonga Manroot: https://ucanr.edu/blogs/blogcore/postdetail.cfm?postnum=23824

An oddly shaped one:  https://www.flickr.com/photos/kr_cn/3543453110

…I am Groot…

…boobs are NOT the root of all evil…

…Carly Simon sings about climbing a man like a tree…

…but this is ridiculous…

…so, that’s how rootbeer is made…

…the trees are lopsided…

…he is a bra bro…

…oh that Mother Nature is such a kidder…

…Hey! My eyes are up here!…

…

…well, at least it’s hard wood…

…the titmouse nests in these here woods…

…if I’ve said this once, I’ve said it a thousand times…

…sometimes you can’t see the forest because of the trees…

…looks like she wants to get to the root of this…

…[knock knock, is this thing on?]…

They say that no two are alike.

Or was that snowflakes?

Or champagne flutes?

You’ve seen a coat tree..

This is a bra tree..

Breasts are like martinis – one is not enough and three is too many.

She looks so supportive at this delicate moment in a young man’s coming of age.

She’s practicing her planting skills! What boob would go in and just buy the first bra she saw, only to get it home and it doesn’t fit right? One must be measured, fitted, and shaped to one’s stature, in order to have the natural look! Back in the day, bras made women look like they were wearing missiles on their chests…pointy and perky! Then sports bras came and smashed them all to hell…god forbid a seam showed on a sweater…gasp!

So, when shopping for bras, get your boobs all in a row and plant theses babies in the right garden…and watch them grow….

And here I thought money was the root of all evil!

Breast root, manroot, don’t pollute, give a hoot … remember hula hoops & bumbershoots …?

(blame it on the pandemic)

LS/MFT

Being possessed of the cursed “Y” chromosome, I would not know about such things from personal experience. But reading Paul Taylor’s “Wapsi Square” over the years has taught me more about the importance of getting a well-fitting bra than I could have imagined.

Caged or free range; I guess it’s a personal choice, but even the most tightly reined need to taste freedom once in awhile.

Caged or free range; it’s a personal choice, I suppose, but even the most tightly reined need to breath the song of freedom, sometimes.

Anyone sporting an “auxiliary?”

Man goes into a lingerie store to buy his wife a bra. What size, asks the saleslady. Um.. 6 7/8?

Breast root: Go breasts!!

I have never been able to find a well-fitting bra. Just sayin’. But this may not be the root of that problem, I suspect. They just don’t make them in Men’s sizes!

Nice little bit of bosomy trivia, though….

Looks like a Boobie trap to me.