Herman by Jim Unger for February 25, 2022

And first cousins?

Doesn’t have to be illiterate to be that ignorant.

Can anyone volunteer for more explanation?

I rest my case.

Kidded a friend who operates a farm and utters all kinds of homilies that he was the epitome of a rural idiom. He came back who you callin’ an idiom?!!

bet he masticates in public also

“And I’m 51!”

“…and I’m forty!”

A legitimate claim.

“Aren’t you forty?”

What if I just call you a DumbA$$?

but your parents say you be both illegitimate and illiterate, but that doth make you a worm in the lowest order aka fish food.

Boy howdy! If he doesn’t sound like some folks I knew in Florida!

Asked if he matriculated in college he replies.“Heck no, I had a girlfriend.”

But not to each other.

In a Court: Prosecutor: This man has three wives, Your Honour, he is charged with bigotry. || Judge: Three wives! That is trigonometry, not bigotry.

They fell in love at the family reunion.

OK, you’re a moron…

Such an OLD joke.

Not me, my parents had to lie to get married. That invalidates the wedding, doesn’t it?

(Mama and Daddy were both 18 at the time, Mississippi required the signature of the man if he was under 21 but not of the woman. Grandma Huie went with them to sign for Mama, who turned out to not need anyone to sign for her. So they went to the next town and Grandma Huie (Pence Ola Bass Huie) claimed to be Grandma Green (Ada Lavonia Higginbotham Hogan Green) and signed to let them wed. So whenever anyone calls me a ba57ard, I always say, “Right, but how did you find out??”)

Only semi-illigetimate, his parents were married… just not to each other.

and he’s not ignorant or apathetic, because he doesn’t know nor does he care.

I arrest you for old jokes!