F Minus by Tony Carrillo for March 10, 2022

I’m sorry but you can’t get here from there.

If you lived here, you’d be home by now…

No, you’re over there.

Because we’re not all there.

I live in a rural area. A GPS will get you ‘kinda’ to my house. I got a call from a physical therapist saying he can’t find my house. I asked him had he tried setting his phone down and reading the mailboxes and looking at the gates? No. Well? I’ll be there in a minute. Big mailbox clearly numbered and a 1′×3′ wood sign. Some people, SMH.

I hear from here that their not there yet.

Take the next left turn.

when you come to the fork in the road, take it…

You are not in Detroit and your not in San Antonio so you must be someplace else………in which case you are not here

when possible make a legal U-turn. you have arrived on the left.

No matter where you go, there you are

On a trip via route never before taken our gps said to make a right turn, which i did. In about 100 yards i came to a dock and if driven any further would’ve driven into the lake. We sat there and pondered a minute when a person appeared and asked if we were following gps, and she said that this was the starting point for ferry across the lake. She said gps apparently dosen’t mention that the route includes a ferry ride, and a lot of people get flummoxed as we were. Good news was we were first in line!

GPS lies anyway.

Must be in Maine

Not yet.

Guy: uh…no, keep driving?

Bein’ there’s no other place around the place, I reckon this must be the place I reckon. — Curly Howard of The Three Stooges

This is the future. I doubt anybody under forty can read a map.

“You should have turned left two questions ago.”

Sorry, this is over there. Here is about 10 miles thataway.

Wherever you go, there you are.

No, you’re not. You’re in The Twilight Zone…

This sounds like the start of the Arkansas traveler routine.

Firesign Theatrer: “How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All” (Which set the stage for “Don’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers”, etc.) Hilarious in a certain frame of mind beyond midnight in a college dorm.

Grew up in the country, no road signs, no GPS. Dad’s directions to a small town. “Go down this road that way until you come to the road that goes between those two buttes. Take that road and then you take the first road to the left and keep going till you get to town.”

You can’t get there from here.

Or they could be neither here nor there

Yes, yes you are.

Move slowly until you see the X on the road.

Recalculating …

No matter where you go, there you are.

Check your map. Look for the “You are here” marking.

Try this app. Very easy to use, & it’s PRECISE. The Emergency systems in the UK use it.

For Americans: those are 10 foot squares.

https://what3words.com

Was he the guy who followed the gps directions to drive to an island when there wasn’t a bridge?