That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 09, 2022

“How come I get stuck being the designated-reader while the rest of you get wasted on ouzo?”

/// They gathered outdoors for A Reading

from Homer. While it was proceeding,

three musicians leaned back

‘gainst the wall as a claque,

the poetry fixedly heeding.

/// In the foreground a shepherd lies prone.

(Since he never has bathed, he’s alone.)

Floral wreaths and strewn roses

were protecting three noses,

because “goat-skin guy” won’t use cologne.

Before Facebook, you had to physically get together in an echo chamber to hear your friend monologue about something you already 100% agreed with.

Levi thrilled his audience with tales of a cat named Garfield.

Hippies Circa 600 BC: musical instruments, check. They are all stoned out of their gourds, check. The leader is reading bad beat-poetry, check.

The chap in the fuzzy suit/

May think himself clever and cute,/

But midst these literati

He looks rather ratty. /

Who reads Homer to such a brute ?

Somebody better make the door dash order or we will never have lunch!

Good thing they’re already reclining.

Thus the insomnia club made a break-though cure.

Now watch! There’s nothing up my tunic.

“If I had a mike, this would be the moment I’d drop it.”

“To get to the other side! Get it? I got a million of ’em!”

Homer – doh – that beggar IS Odysseus!

I cannot find your damn contact!

“iPhone contract” – two words that will never be a part of my life.

“Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?”

I’m on the edge of my seat. Read on.

Who invited you guys, can’t you see we we want to be alone. Right Greta!

Excuse me while I air out the pits and pass some gas.

“Dudes, I told you I read ‘Platoboy’ for the articles. See? It doesn’t even HAVE any pictures!”

" … And then Achilles grasped Petroclus’ μεγάλο πέος and shouts at Hector ‘This is what a real Greek looks like!’ "

“Hey, I invented toilet paper, and I say it should unspool from underneath!!”

Look, I’m just gonna flush and leave … you know I can’t “go” when people are watching me!

“Now that we have developed this ‘writing’ thing, I thought I would read you the first draft of my story. It was a dark and stormy night….”

better than an Ambien any day

How much lamp oil do we have?

A Reading from Homer: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sir_Lawrence_Alma-Tadema,_English_(born_Netherlands)_-_A_Reading_from_Homer_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this large painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispricelessblog.com/2022/03/masterpiece-2892 

and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 17 works, by this artist, have been used here (18 times, with 1 repeat). 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2019/12/31?comments=visible 

has the prior (the repeat, my blog comment here links include the artist info URLs in my comment there).

“What kind of mushrooms were those?”

students to teacher “hey this is Rome, why do we have all these clothes on?”

The girl in the back fell asleep just hearing the phrase “terms and conditions”.

/// Homer’s poetry verses were Lyric.

The right music could be atmospheric.

A kithara is seen

also one tambourine,

but their tune made his words seem satiric.

/// Some with talent have musical knacks,

but there’s others, no better than hacks.

Homer quickly recanted

what they played as he chanted.

(‘Twas a tune much like “Yakety Sax.”)

“I tell you, 14,000 characters just isn’t enough for a meaningful tweet.”

It is right here in the contract. “The band shall not imbibe any alcohol during breaks.” Sorry dudes.

The painting gave Salvador Dali inspiration …

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FThe_Persistence_of_Memory&psig=AOvVaw2BUyZ6wRgZqqdWAB7fMhg8&ust=1646959140871000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAsQjRxqFwoTCIijwIanuvYCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE

Anyone else think the guy on the right is wearing loafers?

/// It was billed as “A Reading from Homer,”

but that title was just a misnomer.

For the ten drachma charge,

he’s read nothing of Marge,

her blue hair, or how Homer might comb her.

I dunno, this clause seems unfair: “You also agree that you will not use the Apple Software for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, nuclear, chemical or biological weapons”

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!