That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 28, 2022

What an awkward time to find out the girl you had a summer fling with is your girlfriend’s cousin.

The first Bachelor, about to present the rose

Phillipe has to take a moment to steel his resolve so he can declare his throth to Maria. She was no looker, but her father is so rich that he gold plated his entire palace.

He just wants to marry you for your house.

/// The vain, awkwardly posed, Bashful Suitor,

seems to ponder, “Am I, or she, cuter?”

In fruitless pursuit, her

erstwhile music tutor

has no passion. (He’s not gay— he’s neuter.)

I told you Ernie, I’m not playing second fiddle to Weensie!

“No, milady, there was no card with the flowers. They were simply left on the hall table.”“I’m not surprised there was no card, who’d admit to leaving such a cheap, tacky little bouquet?”

Poor fellow can’t make up his mind/

To which he’s more strongly inclined./

He’s losing his wits/

Over one sister’s tits/

While the other’s so great from behind…

Would you give us a moment Benedetta. I believe this gentleman left his pantalone at home.

“You have been summoned to participate in a contest at the castle. I don’t know what it is, but it involves water and something called a tee shirt.”

Does he really care?

I don’t care if he is a regular, a few flowers is not going to get a threesome upgrade

(Aside) “Oooh, look, Mary – he’s brought a whopping gréât strawberry ice-cream for us to share”.

See, Elizabeth. Give one of these morons flowers and ask him on a date, and he is completely stymied. That grinding noise you hear is his brain trying to shift gears without a clutch.

sis, let’s ask the agency to send us a taller one next time…

What a choice. Where Cathy adores a minuet,The Ballets Russes, and crepe suzette,Our Patty loves to rock and roll,A hot dog makes her lose control -What a wild duet!

can’t go wrong , either a nice kiss now ,or incest is best later :p

Suitor going, “Oh crap, I didn’t know you knew each other!”

“Watch Lucy. I trained him to respond to movements of my fan. This means “stop in your tracks”."

When keeping one’s cool is the answer / To an unwelcome romantic advance / Just wave him away / But do it in play / She really can make that fan dance, sir!

Sister, how long are you going to make him stand there hanging his head in shame for the wrong color roses?

He’s brought them a lovely bouquet -/

Spring flowers, to brighten the day/

Will they never be missed/

Or will someone be “pissed” ?

In the graveyard he passed on his way…

He brought young one a gay gold ring/ He didn’t bring the older one a single thing… This will not end well.

I am sorry, Jacques, but Mama says our standing is such that I may not accept anything less than hothouse orchids.

“See, Catherine? And you thought I was the one stealing your stockings.”

What strange anatomy these folks exhibit! The suitor is two different guys in one coat, or one guy with an absurdly long torso, and very short legs…

Not the first time this has happened in the family.

Carl is once again trying to encourage a threesome!

Last night’s Oscars had joke about “married couple” Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

“Hey Sis – Lord Fauntleroy left this for you…oh wait! It’s for ME!”

Ambivalent suitor trying to decide whether to give the flowers to his girlfriend or to try to make a play for her sister.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txTEhgReZUA

Tell me, Sis, do you think it his pride, forgetfulness, or vulgarity that explains why he isn’t wearing anything below the belt?

“I cleaned out my lint trap and found it was surprisingly colorful considering my preference for tidy whities.”

The Bashful Suitor: 

Paste 

commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:L._A._Marsano_-_The_Bashful_Suitor.jpg 

in your browser address bar for info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2902 (March 28, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I couldn’t find any online info about this artist. First work by him used here.

This is NOT going to end well… and why is The Lovin’ Spoonful’s song playing in my head?

Straight from Paris, a young man of “mode”/Huge nosegay, chapeau-bras and long coat/Though he thinks he looks great/He’s 10 years out of date/I doubt either will give him her vote.

Count Gilford had only one present, so the girl that accepted it was the lucky one for the night.

The sisters Emily and Charlotte,

are not moved by the wooing of this varlet.

In real life though,

(which they don’t know)

he’s the Pimpernel of Scarlet.

Oh … I’m early? When are you expecting the other 97 people going to show up for the orgy?

Like Joe Biden, hmmm