Close to Home by John McPherson for April 30, 2022

Bleeb you’re being awful naughty again.

Office whack job

Maybe you can make sauce in the watercooler

Watch the IRS and FBI try to reconstruct documents from a shredder full of pasta.

Must not be a crosscut.

Perfect positioning, Bleeb! Bravo, Sir.

Oh, and be careful not to get too close to any of the papers. We would hate if you were shredded.

Is she one of those Pastafarians?

Ha! The price of pasta is through the roof, because of the war, so they’re improvising…..

Strangely enough, turns out my pasta maker is a surprisingly good paper shredder!

That’s a pretty good idea. I’ll bet it would do a number on cheese as well. I’ll give it a try.

Good for home or office

Better roll that dough REALLY thin!

Is the pasta high in fiber?

For a brief moment there I thought she was turning evidence INTO pasta. Who woulda thought shredding truth could be so delicious?

When I worked for a gov’t contractor we used to play shredder roulette. See how much shredding you could do before you got stuck with emptying it. The goal was to get our AF counterparts to have to empty it. One of the AF guys would take the bags home and stick them in his compost pile. The shredder made confetti shred look like full size sheets. It was more of a pulverizer than shredder.

Water and electrical devices generally don’t mix, and pasta is generally made from a dough first, which is kind of moist. Could short it out.

I don’t see her keeping that job long.