That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for April 19, 2022

The weigh ins before the baby fighting competition.

Isn’t it too early to be putting them on Weight Watchers?

/// That scared baby should cut them some slack,

for The Weighing is not an attack.

All his kin, fisher-folk,

have a rule they invoke:

“If a catch is too small, throw it back.”

Today’s the day they give babies away with half a pound of tea!

He’s onto his parents’s game/

And he thinks it’s a crying shame/

He’s trembling with fear/

For a mohel is near/

And he knows he’ll be sorry he came.///

He’s sure that he’s gonna be sore/

For as much as a week- maybe more/

And that small missing part -/

Will it (like his Art)/

Adorn the refrigerator door ?///

For where should a foreskin be hung ?/

Forgotten, abandoned, unsung/

He will go through life “sans” it/

But perhaps they will bronze it../

A memento of when he was young…

“I’m guessing 18 weeks and 29 pounds.”

Conveyor-belt circumcisions…

Michelangelo orders casting call for ‘Creation’ cherubs.

“Mrs. Gretcham, please understand when the diaper package says ‘Up to 30 lbs.’, that is for the size of the baby, not how much the diaper will hold before it needs changing. Whew…… that really really is a nasty smell you’ve got going there.”

At the checkout….

There was once a young girl named Cath.

Had three sons named Nat, Pat, and Tat.

It was fun in the breeding

But hell in the feeding

When she found there was no tit for Tat!

The Becker triplets were very competitive. When Julie won the race (giving birth barely a day ahead of her sisters), Lydia declared that speed doesn’t matter, it should be the heaviest that wins.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where did you weigh in on the issue, baby?

Counting up dependents for the tax deductions.

“Free Shipping. Add To Cart.”

Calibrating the correct dose of the anxiolytic at 10 micrograms per kilogram of body weight.

“Are they all mine ??”

(3/4 time) “They take only babies that smile, even triplets and twins if they’ll smile.” Rosalie Sorrells, “The Baby Tree.”

“We should probably insist that the baby we pick for Nirvana’s Nevermind album cover photo be able to swim, don’t you think?”

“Nah…”

I’m sorry, Doctor, but she makes that face every time she sees a mustache like yours. It’s hereditary.

Couple came to local hospital, wife in labor, no previous OB care as they wanted a “totally natural birth” but were nervous about trying it at home. Very long and difficult labor, husband continually consulting their book on natural birth. Doctor finally talked them into having a scan to check on the baby, which showed she was pregnant with twins. When stressed out husband was informed he said “twins! What’s that?” and started to thumb through the book. Eventually they did have healthy babies.

It’s what’s for dinner. :)

“Ah, yes, plump and firm- they’ll fetch a good price on the market.” – Dr. Jonathan Swift

The Weighing Session: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Jean Geoffroy - Wikimedia Commons" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Yandex, Bing and Yahoo search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and chose the first Category: link found, and once there, find Paris - 3.jpg in the text for the webpage, and click the link for info and links that point to more info (best viewed by Google Chrome which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this painting. It is part of a roughly lifesize triptych.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2915 (April 19, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by him used here.

/// All these babies were weighed as a test

to see which type of feeding was best.

Can what’s mixed in a glass

bottle ever surpass

mother’s milk that’s sucked straight from the breast?

It’s a BOBGOB sale. Buy one baby, get another baby of equal or lesser weight for half off.

Lady please, get a mint !!!

Due to the covid plague, beef was stopped and week- old babies were on sale but you had to remove the bones yourself.

/// Sick experiment seen at its start—

orphaned triplets will be raised apart.

Heartless Doc’s a researcher.

Is it “nature” or “nurture”

that makes people immoral or smart.

/// He’ll keep track of them as they mature.

One raised rich, one bourgeois, one raised poor.

They will still look alike,

but diverse milieux strike

at genetics in factors obscure.

/// Decades pass, they will meet just by chance,

their relationship seen at a glance.

In comparing their lives

they each wed redhead wives,

but they each prefer books to romance.

Moishe considered himself the Henry Ford of mohles, the assembly line approach really raised the volume!

Mom didn’t cover her offspring, forgetting what happens when baby gets cold. Hope it’s not a boy, or she’ll get sprayed.