Reality Check by Dave Whamond for May 13, 2022

Bagels, my second favorite hole foods.

Or, as Gahan Wilson asked, “Is Nothing Sacred?”

But he can! He is, by definition, an everything. Ergo, anyone in possession of him is holding everything in their hands.

everything bagels I find lately should be named “one of everything” bagels. One poppy seed, one sesame seed, one onion flake,…………

I know that a bagel shop is not a real bagel shop when I ask for an onion bagel, and they say, “we don’t have those, but we do have everything bagels”.

You may think you’re everything. People may call you everything.

But not everyone is going to love you.

It’s food around a hole, Ralph … I don’t think the hole counts as food … (or does it?)

Everything bagels usually have too much salt.

Anything with a hole is less calories, NO?

If one bagel in a bag is an everything bagel, then every bagel in that bag is an everything bagel.

Gotta get your daily roughage!

The plain bagel on the right is engaging in a vicious schmear campaign.

Just gimme a glazed doughnut ….

My Lady calls them “Everywhere Bagels” bagels because I leave a trail on the kitchen counter.

everything bagels are not a bargain if you are allergic to cheese.