Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 25, 2022

Don’t forget eating and drinking.

“Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this.”

Jackass

A deep meditative breath open your 7 chakras. And don’t forget to greet the sun.

Very good point

Unfortunately there are too many people who are so dumb, that I sometimes wonder how they remember to breath; unfortunately they keep breathing long enough to keep talking.

Everyone stops breathing at some point. Even people that live a long life.

Peeing is also necessary. But the really IMPORTANT one is beating your heart.

“All I need is the air that I breathe, and to love you!” So said the Hollies way back!

If he follows instructions, he’ll live a lung time…

“Breath in, breath out, move on…” Jimmy Buffett

Best way to live a long life – Refrain from dying.

He really is a wise ass.

I was always told that the person who lives the longest is the one who has the most birthdays.

There’s also eating a well balanced meal and exercise.

He’s not called the “Wise Ass” for nothing!

Wise Ass is a simple minded …well…ass!

So, Gimli had it right, all along?

Much of spiritual wisdom is common sense, wrapped in aphorism.

“It’s hard to argue with his assessment.”

Is Wize Ass sitting on a mountain of pooh?

I have heard that a person has only two minutes to live, but every time one breathes, it resets the timer. That’s straight-up facts.

I had a band teacher that used to remind us to not forget to breath – and would even state BREATH emphatically whenever there was a pause in a music piece we were rehearsing.

When you get old like me then it’s “keep moving or they’ll throw dirt on ya!”

So stop smoking, Rat!

Funny. I loved it. Sometimes when my friend would ask what someone died of, I always told her—-their heart stopped beating.

A.B.C.’s

I heard that in an interview once, but I can’t remember who it was. Anyway, they were celebrating this person’s 99th birthday and some smart-aleck journalist asked the inventive “to what do you attribute your long life?” …and this cagey elder said, “I never stopped breathing.”

He’s got it right…..

I can’t help but notice today that it looks like the great wise ass is sitting on a mountain of his own $h!t… I’d call it BS but it’s donkey $h!t

And don’t forget the hipwaders, to wade through all the …

That’s why the ass is so wise. He’s profound.

The counterpoint is that breathing is also unhealthy. Everyone that has breathed has ended up dying.

Does Rat have anti-gravity shoes so he can stick on the side of the mountain like that ?

Wisdom is often very simple.

Even the Wise Ass on the Hill is right sometimes. Heed his advice, Rat and Pig….