Drabble by Kevin Fagan for July 13, 2022

Cruise control

Honked at twice and if you’re not careful you’re going to get an elbow to the ribs for talking too much.

So what don’t you get?

You were an adult 43 years ago when this strip debuted, at the time, Cruise was 17.

Just be thankful it didn’t become road rage, Ralph.

You know this is a movie, right…

Well, you were on the Highway to the Danger Zone, Ralph!

Well, credit CGI and the cult of Tom…

Last time I got honked at I was making a protected left turn and some kid making a right turn A. thought he had right of way B. was just a jerk in a hurry considering he didn’t actually stop at the red light before turning.

He gets honked at because other drivers think he’s cute.

So does Tom Cruise in real life.

Nope. Some of that ticket money goes to Tom and then to Scientology.

Actually, it is too much of a stretch to buy the premise of Tom Cruise as a fighter jock at age 60. To have been a proficient enough F-14 aviator for TOP GUN in 1986, Maverick would have to have been approximately 28 years old with at least six years of service by the time of the first film. That would put him past 40 years of service by the events of the second film, not merely “over 30” as the film suggests. The military has been on an “up-or-out” promotion system since the 1950s. Maverick’s peers still in the service, such as Iceman, have all made admiral. Once Maverick had been passed over for rear admiral the second time (which would have happened in roughly 2010) he would have been processed for involuntary retirement.

With that said, he is a very accomplished CIVILIAN pilot in real life.

You probably need a stunt double.

I’m a year older than TC – so I’m older than Ralph?

Well, the movie stuff is fake, and driving to the theater is real life.