Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for August 03, 2022

DO ALL THE THINGS!

https://www.amazon.com/THINGS-Bucket-List-Journal-Fill/dp/1793112096

Experiment with lentils, coconut, and curry. Try for a dish that is both delicious and fulminant.

Taunt a condor.

Begin the beguine, and finish the fandango.

…the new Visit Froglandia commercial hit the airwaves today…

… conspicuously absent is any mention of the Bathmat factory…

…on purpose…

..of course…

…they would rather sponsor the male only topless convertible Corvette Street Fair…

…only its more mail only and definitely not topless anymore…

…since they canceled FAX they had to cut back…

…it only disappoints the children…

…because no one dresses up like Faye Dunaway anymore…

…which brings gs us full circle…

…to the new Visit Froglandia commercial…

All at once?

Touchdown!

… and to think, me being ambidextrous STILL didn’t get me hired into the special crew at the Froglandia Bathmat Factory! They work during the night, stocking and cleaning…oh well….they sure make a lot of money….it would have been nice…

Help an old lady across the street. Design a new Keep Out! sign. Avoid stepping on cracks. Honor the dead after it’s too late.

The Froglandia Bureau of Tourism and Idle Meandering’s latest ad.

Widely known fact, even with their heads attached, humans will often run around like chickens with their heads cut off, especially when visiting Froglandia.

My feet are ambidextrous … but not my hands …!

(but, my hands do have a healthy case of the clap)

The steering wheel Club. Mr bullright.

What passes for a bucket list in Froglandia seems consummately lame…

“Promote ambidextrousness”

No special tools required!

PS, re: #FB00457

https://frogapplauseappreciationsociety.tumblr.com/post/691595632803184640/giggle

Second grade was kicking my backside. But the summer was all good, so far. Mom took me to work with her, at the Bath Mat Factory, parking me in the Day Care Center. I was down for crafts. I’m ambidextrous, and have been since Sister Bruteforce taught me to use my right hand for most daily activities. We were making lanyards, simple cord and bead things, for employee ID badges. I slipped out to use the bathroom. I’ve got a nasty juice box habit. I’ve been trying to quit, but you know how it goes. And as it goes, I had to, bad. On the way, I spotted a trail of footprints, marked with what looked like blood. I didn’t mean to follow them, but I wanted to see if there was something gory to be seen. Nobody loses that much blood without being a real sight to see. The door shut behind me. I was locked out. Before I knew it, I was hiding behind a boulder in a stone quarry, about a quarter mile from the Bath Mat Factory, evacuation in process. Why were there no trees or bushes near the factory? I couldn’t work it out. Something was off. The footprints had disappeared in the quarry, as though somebody had just been snatched up into thin air. There was more at work here than child labor.

Following bloody footprints has been on my bucket list for a long time. Definitely thinking of trying it soon.

Read the entire “Frog Applause” archive. Who else confesses/admits/celebrates in reading the whole archive from start to present?

I think I might have ambixterous feet.

That third guy from the left has a really long neck.

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout! (Herman Wouk.)

Seems appropriate here, as these rattled silhouettes spout drivel and nonsense, and dash about the butte.

Pay them no attention. Soon enough they’ll all fall over the edge and cease their senselessness….