Doe anybody know who/when someone posted about a joke a guy ordering a pizza on his cell? Google knew his name and address, what his usual order was, suggested he order another kind of pizza because they had noticed his Cholesterol was high at his last Doctor visit. In short, how much google knows about you. It’s been in the last week -10 days I think. I didn’t save it and I want to. I think it was on here and I’d sure appreciate any help. Thanks!
A politician walks into an aquarium. There he finds a monk looking at a small fish that looks hypnotized. The monk is controlling its movement with his hand. If he move his hand to the left the fish goes to the left, and if he moves his hand to the right so does the fish.
Politician: Hey sir, how you do that?
Monk: Strong mind controls weak mind.
And he leaves the aquarium. The fish shakes and leaves.
Several hours laters the Monk is back at the entrance and he finds the politician looking at a small fish. The fish doesn’t move but looks hypnotized.
Monk: Hmm. Looks like you are unveiling the power of your mind.
A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was too large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool’s bottom.
That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel’s elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium. Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.
When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, “That’s not an aquarium – that’s the swimming pool!”
I had no idea an albatross could live so long! But if you’ve got one around your neck, that’s a long time. I guess maybe one can hope it will leave of its own accord to find a mate, and stay gone for life.
Templo S.U.D. about 2 years ago
Shupac Takur had comical letters written to him by Cames Jarrey whilst incarcerated.
SWCarter about 2 years ago
What’s with “allegedly?” Believe it or not! We’re not even sure ourselves!
mbakerbr549 about 2 years ago
Doe anybody know who/when someone posted about a joke a guy ordering a pizza on his cell? Google knew his name and address, what his usual order was, suggested he order another kind of pizza because they had noticed his Cholesterol was high at his last Doctor visit. In short, how much google knows about you. It’s been in the last week -10 days I think. I didn’t save it and I want to. I think it was on here and I’d sure appreciate any help. Thanks!
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 years ago
“Hey Tupac… Yeah I’m out here and you’re in there… buuu-WAA-HA HAHAHA HA HAAAA!!” ~ Love, Jim
Take care, may revered aquarium slurper Bessie “Mh Mh Mh MMMOOOOOO” Uddord be with you, and gesundheit.
WCraft Premium Member about 2 years ago
Young people need more heroes who spend time in jail and have no regard for good taste and no respect for the law.
cactusbob333 about 2 years ago
The Romans also had a room called the vomitorium. There is some dispute as to it’s use.
JDP_Huntington Beach about 2 years ago
A Roman walks into a bar…
He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
JDP_Huntington Beach about 2 years ago
Why do Romans always have a hard time ending relationships?
Their X is always a 10.
Who the heck cares about learning the Roman Numeral system?
I for one…
heathcliff2 about 2 years ago
Well, 2 good stories out of three. Good for the Albatrosses (my kind of people).
charliefarmrhere about 2 years ago
The Roman Latin word for water is aqua.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
At the entrance to the aquarium there was a sign that said “No dogs”.
I thought, “What sort of aquarium does have dogs?”
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
A politician walks into an aquarium. There he finds a monk looking at a small fish that looks hypnotized. The monk is controlling its movement with his hand. If he move his hand to the left the fish goes to the left, and if he moves his hand to the right so does the fish.
Politician: Hey sir, how you do that?
Monk: Strong mind controls weak mind.
And he leaves the aquarium. The fish shakes and leaves.
Several hours laters the Monk is back at the entrance and he finds the politician looking at a small fish. The fish doesn’t move but looks hypnotized.
Monk: Hmm. Looks like you are unveiling the power of your mind.
Politician: 0\0, 0.0, 0\0, 0.0,0\0, 0.0, 0\0, 0.0
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
I got arrested for illegal fishing, even though there weren’t any ‘no fishing’ signs.
Apparently if it’s an aquarium in a hotel lobby, you don’t need a sign.
Until next time.
J. R. M. about 2 years ago
Cute portrait of Albert Ross and family.
Rick Parkhurst Premium Member about 2 years ago
Maybe the letters, like Jim Carey, were allegedly funny.
JohnShirley1 about 2 years ago
Carrey can be very funny but one has to be into “over the top” funny. If you’re not, he ain’t funny.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was too large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool’s bottom.
That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel’s elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium. Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.
When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, “That’s not an aquarium – that’s the swimming pool!”
Until next time.
finnygirl Premium Member about 2 years ago
I had no idea an albatross could live so long! But if you’ve got one around your neck, that’s a long time. I guess maybe one can hope it will leave of its own accord to find a mate, and stay gone for life.