Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for September 11, 2022

WARNING: Reading comic strips like this one may cause overwhelming cuteness and UNICORN! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

That fifth panel would be great out of context.

And just where would 18-year-old Phoebe Grizelda Howell have that warning tattoo? her backside, but that would be covered by her trousers or skirt.

Marigold is too lovely for her shirt, too lovely for her shirt, so lovely it hurts.

Phoebe, please don’t get a tattoo.

Dana has said that she’s relieved that when she got a tattoo of her name in Chinese, it didn’t turn out to actually say “gullible tourist”. But honestly, it would be a pretty good joke if one were to actually ask that of the artist.

It’s not a “WARNING LABEL”, it’s a “CUTIE MARK”! ;D

Some of those warning labels…. One I heard about allegedly said, “Warning: not to be used for the other use.” Since no further details were provided, this implied a statistically alarming number of people had figured out how to do something very improper and perhaps hazardous with this particular device or substance.

An appropriate warning for Marigold’s butt would be “WARNING! This is a lovely butt but you might not like the rainbows that come out.”

WARNING! Object will appear larger in a mirror.

(Phoebe reads the label on Marigold’s rump….)

“If you can read this then you are standing too darn close.” (KICK)

That one will also be on the butt.

Few people seem to wear just one tattoo. As they will be with you forever at every age, choose wisely or choose not to, as the case might be……

Marigold should read owner’s manuals and accumulate a large collection of nongermane danger warnings.

Has Marigold ever even threatened to use her horn on someone? To the best of my knowledge she’s mostly focused on her magical powers.

Marigold could be potentially more dangerous than just any appliance, with her sharp horn, hooves and magic as well as size and mass she could be a deadly weapon if needed.

If there was a manual for safe unicorn interactions and riding I’m sure it would be filled with warnings of all kinds.

Folks with a single tattoo have it placed subtly enough that you likely don’t notice it.

There are more of them than you would expect.

I understand not warning about the horn, because everyone should already recognize that danger. (Blind people wouldn’t, but I doubt the butt label is in Braille.) But “much too lovely” for what?

The funniest gag here is the image of Marigold using a hairdryer.

UNICORN!

It would be kind of funny if Phoebe swapped the label out with one that said “Wide Load” when Marigold wasn’t looking.

Seeing the location of the warning label, how would Marigold reach back there?

Her butt is her best angle ruined now. But then everyone will have to cast eyes upon her buttocks to perceive the warning.

Ah, but she is not dangerous by being pointy! It is her beauty that has captivated me! Tis a valid warning label after all.