Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 14, 2022

Sounds more like self-abuse than a low bar.

sounds like a Country Western song…

Level 2:

Step on Legos; Walk under a ladder; Leave water on the stove and stop watching.

Sounds like he’s become a personal injury attorney.

– Stepping in doggy-doo!

– Eating moldy bread!

– Watching “Full House”!

1) Pigs don’t have toes.

2) Only birds and platypuses have bills.

3) You need to have a car in order to get a dented fender.

Mark Twain said that if you swallow a live toad the first thing in the morning, nothing worse will happen to you that day.

The low bar is what he’ll stub his toe on.

Is this being an optimist or pessimist?

Shoot for the moon and go from there!

Pig also has Rat there to assist him with his “goals”.

Feels so good when it stops hurting.

Or leaking. We heard a dripping sound, realized it was inside a wall.Now we have a hole in the wall, and one shower unusable until more repairs are done, but it’s better than the 2 days we had to turn off water to the house.

But

I didn’t hear it at first, was blessed by DH’s good hearing that caught it when it started. Our neighbor was outside at 10:30pm and has the tool we need to turn off water at the street (the valve close to the house is apparently corroded), and we found someone to come out on a Sunday. Being w/o power was MUCH worse than having to pour water from a bottle and using paper plates.

He’s got a better day planned then any day I’ve had in the past 6 months.

When you set low expectations, sometimes you end up presently surprised.

I never get my hopes up for anything.

A huge bill might not be so bad – if you’re a duck!

Agreed. That’s why they call them “dives”.

Pigs glass is always half empty! ☺️

Well, it is Monday…

I’m kind of looking forward to that big post-weekend poo that makes these pants fit better.

Sounds like my New Year’s resolutions: 1) Drink more beer; 2) Eat more donuts.

Like most other resolutions, I end the year disappointed.

Psychic Pig is seeing his future.

A low bar makes you good at the limbo, just be careful not to smack your head. And it can be heII on the groin. I walked into a low bar once, looking for a drink. That’s how I met my wife, she was a paramedic.

The lower your expectations, the lower your achievements. Pig just isn’t as ambitious as some people want him to be….