Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for December 06, 2022

Along with Hair….Us Bald guys have a reputation to uphold!

Dragonflies cannot breathe fire either.

If I had a nickel for every cell of skin I shed a day I’d be a rich man.

If I did the math correctly that calculates to over 5,700 cells lost every second.

(500 mill / 24 hrs / 60 min / 60 seconds)

I used to work in a semiconductor manufacturing plant. Any tiny piece of dust can ruin the semiconductor chips. For that very reason, when working in the manufacturing clean rooms we had to wear a full body suit covering our whole body except for the eyes.

I love Dragonflies, everytime I go outside to work in the yard they come and they catch and eat the bugs that bother me.

In 1910, Teddy Roosevelt was a former President, and William Howard Taft occupied the White House.

You don’t think the Secret Service would let a sitting President take a ride on a contraption like those early Wright Flyers, do you?

I think not. (Oops. Where’d I go?)

The Life of a Bug Spray Salesman

A salesman was traveling through the countryside, selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. “Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it.”

The farmer was dubious. “Young man, I’ll make you a proposition. I’ll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I’ll buy a whole case from you.”

The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer.

The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the corn field. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.

The farmer was perplexed. “Son,” he said, “Now, you don’t have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?”

The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, “For crying out loud, Mister, doesn’t that calf have a Mother!”

Butterflies used to be flutterbyes, but dragonflies were never flagondryes. This is what’s wrong with America! ~ Lyndon LaRouche, Adlai Stevenson, and Wendell Willkie, in unison

Take care, may stubborn human cell Mip “I Can’t Let Go!” Mippord be with you, and gesundheit.

Air force the first one.

Bully for Ted

What do 500,000,000 skin cells weigh? I need to lose weight.

Fortunate that he avoided the experiment, “Are Teddy Bears soft enough to safely absorb impact?”

that is such a Roosevelt thing to do, I can only imagine that if he DID fall out of the plane he would have turned a flip and made a perfect 3 point landing on the ground, and tourists would be visiting the statue built to commemorate the event to this day.

If the president had fallen out and landed on the crowd, especially the children, I’d say: “Bully!”

TR wasn’t President in 1910.

Oh, wow – a terrific historical President declaration!!

What group are you going to slam tomorrow, Dipwad?

I have two wings but can’t fly. What am I?

They may not be able to walk, but with the way they fly, who needs it.

Copied & pasted ? Why that’s right up my alley. Good job!

That guy must be diskintigrating.

Lizards don’t have that problem. And there are so many unemployed lizards…