Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 19, 2022

Dear Sir,

Please excuse Pig for being late.

Signed,

Pigs Mother

Hey Pig, don’t let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!

Who would put Pig in charge of a seven million dollar account in the first place?

I don’t believe for one moment that Pig’s absence would have any impact on a seven-million-dollar deal. Unless, of course, an eccentric billionaire made a bet on whether or not Pig could tell time.

Whoever put Pig in that position should bear the brunt of the responsibility.

At least he had on a tie.

I wish I still had my Mom to write excuse noted for me.

So Pig got fired, who brings home the bacon now?

Pig should have called and demanded $5,000,000 to come in.

Pig’s mom works for the local legislator. She’s the chief analyst for pork spending.

Nice tie Pig! Moving up from the clip-on.

Nobody gets the point of this great strip. Any HS teacher will get it, and it goes way beyond tardiness.

I thought pigs were intelligent animals.

But you have a great Mom

Lost the pork belly account.

I wish some people realized that.

Perhaps this recounts why Pastis ended up leaving the legal field…

Who would put Pig in charge of a seven million dollar account in the first place?A mud wrestling venue.

There are a lot of kids out there that are going to learn a hard lesson about life when they find out their parents can get them out of everything once the leave grade school. And a major drain on society trying to deal with them.

Eventually they learn moms note just makes it harder, they still have to complete the tasks.

I tried this today. My mom just laughed at me and told me the teacher has to go. (It is -31C today, -46 with the wind chill)

Most of the places that I’ve worked at required you to call in if you were going to miss work because of illness. If you brought a note from the doctor, the absence could be excused. Otherwise, you got a point and if you got enough points, you got fired.

Pig has a job ?

Do you say “different than”, “different to”, or “different from”

And who in the world would put pig in charge of a $7 million account?

Which a lot of college graduates finally realize.

Why would that work? Welcome to the real world.

Sad but true.

Bosses don’t shive a get about your note!

It seems unlikely he’d be trusted with enough responsibility to cause such a blunder.

So, rat’s really named Juan Epstein?

His cockamamy excuse to Mr. Kotter was always signed Epstein’s Mother

https://shop.profit-raisers.com/index.asp?PID=3422251

Pig learns a lesson. At least, I hope he learns from this….

It’s really unlikely that Pig would have a position of such importance as to influence the outcome of a seven million dollar account. Even if he was the entree