Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for December 27, 2022

Maybe the town needs to come through with some more bake sales to support their teams then?

I know the actual reasons public school budgets are getting stretched are way too.. off track for a comic strip to work into the story, but I dunno about Gil needing to get to the Supersectionals to save the 2023/24 Milford sports budget.

(And in no way is my intent to invite a discussion about school funding here, thank you all for understanding. : )

1958 style Bake Sales? How about 2023 sneaker, jersey and naming rights deals? Sell lottery tickets and open up a sports betting window at the gym. Free lottery ticket with your $5 admission purchase? Premium “skybox” section in gym. Strike deal with Bucket for on site food purchases by fans? Another deal with local service station to jump cars that won’t start after zero degree games? Schedule a nationally ranked opponent (as was done a number of years ago). Or faculty 5 on 5 games, both men’s and women’s? Basketball Homecoming weekend? Invite Milford’s Junior Achievement to brainstorm ideas. Think outside the X’s and O’s guys.

P2: It’s gotten so bad the swim team has to practice in the gym.

I have always found that sports types overestimate how important they are to everybody else. OTOH they are essential to this strip.

Vito calls Rocco and Vinnie aside and tells them In All reality head over to Milford and find out what’s going on with defundin sports. Find out who the Woke are that are behind it and smarten them up.

P3 – Milford changed colors from Red and Black to VT’s Carolina Blue and Black?

P1.5 Gil (continuing): “That new superintendent got paid handsomely to come to Milford and all those faceless bureaucrats got raises this year. The voting tax payers didn’t pass the school levy. Who do you think pays, Cami?”

Memo to Gil – Second in the Valley isn’t good enough anymore. Milford needs to go undefeated, win their rivalry game against Valley Tech, win the Valley, and win the state title in each sport in order to shed the “underperforming” tag. How much would it cost to hire Big Hairy Hand Luke Hernnandez Martinez away from Valley Tech?

VT & Milford are in the same athletic conference and would be under the same Superintendent, so cuts are likely coming to VT as well. El Tigre was a high school state wrestling champ. Gil was a wrestling champ in college. Exhibition match for athletic budget fundraiser anyone?

Underperforming? With only a state football title in 2014 and nary a play down appearance since, the bleachers are nearly empty at what few games that are scheduled. Consider retaining the Doyle Dane marketing machine with 2 for 1 Shamrock Shake coupons at the Bucket.

P1: Cami totes the b-balls while Gil lugs a cooler full of hoo.

P2: Psst, Gil. It’s not just faceless bureaucrats who think you’re underperforming.

P3: Yet another transgender athlete?

“Faceless bureaucrats” is a pretty cheap take on a local school district’s administration. Anyone working for very long as a department head/head coach/principal would know the district personnel responsible for their budgets.

They always cut sports because they know the parents will donate.

Apparently the financial problems are so dire they removed the drinking fountains in the gym and Gil has to bring water from home.

Here’s my question: You’ve played hoops for years, you have plenty of round balls, you don’t need new uni’s, MOP takes care of the Gym floor, the locker room, and the showers, so aside from having to re-use loofas and record over old shower tapes, what exactly are your budget cuts affecting?

So they need to raise money to compensate for budget cuts? I’ll bet Able Burrito has some money-making ideas, such as make the basketball team play only away games so that he can transform the Milford gym into a permanent auditorium for the Linda Lindas.

Pearl looks older than MeeMaw too

A new Superintendent? I’ll bet Dr. Pearly is upset that she was bypassed once again for the role. 50 years as Principal in the district’s best loved school and she can’t move up. And speaking of moving up, move your cursor up to the address bar and enter the following to read today’s Mopped Up Thorp.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

I mean, they’re not wrong to suggest that the school wouldn’t exist without Gil.

Fist Pump Man practices with the team.

Have we ever been told whether there are any other high schools in Milford’s school district? Here in Kentucky, we have plenty of districts with only one high school…