Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for April 08, 2023

What? What’s the joke here?

Ten minutes in an oven pre-heated to 350 degrees should make it hot and edible.

Ed replies, I just broke another set of dentures on this frozen crisp pizza.

Well, Ed, it was just a low-yield nuke!!!

It’s not delivery, it’s DeGeneration!

Microwaves only heat water so to heat food it must have moisture. Placing a slightly wet paper towel over the food would steam heat it evenly.

You need a bit more time if it’s straight from the freezer.

from the freezer how did he cut just one slice

I hate to give a serious answer to this crap but …Assuming in was frozen after having been baked. Microwave on 50% power for two minutes. Wait about a minute or two then full power for 50 or 60 seconds.

The optimist says, “the pizza is half cooked.”

The pessimist says, “the pizza is half frozen.”

The engineer says, "the microwave is half as powerful as it needs to be.

The Irishman says, “guess I’ll have another beer since the pizza’s not done cooking!”

If it was a Montoni’s pizza, maybe the problem is that it was god-awful to begin with?

Nuke it for another 30 seconds.

eww you don’t microwave them you oven bake them.