Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for May 13, 2023

The plot thickens.

Still chugging their mustard.

That’s what I’m talking about….

“That’s great. Well, I’m off to interview the owner of the land where they’re going to be building that state of the art digital multiscreen movie theater complex two miles from here. it’s going to be incredible, all the bells and whistles. Good luck with your little single screen theater that hasn’t seen an upgrade since the 1970s.”

That’s right, you guys “fly under the radar with a soft opening”, at your antiquated theater that shows only 1940s movie serials. No need to try to drum up interest ahead of time, that’d be foolish. I’m sure with such business acumen, you’ll be just as successful running the Valentine this time around as you were when you owned it.

Thet want to “fly under the radar”. Are you serious? A place like that needs all the business it can get! Why try to hide?

5 people will read about it in the Sentinel, 3 will show up, that is all they can handle.

Not one humorous pun all week. Batty sux!

I wonder what happened to Ed and the BBQ.

“This theater was losing money hand over fist. So we figure the best way to relaunch the business is to make sure as few people as possible know the place is open again.”

“We’re planning to fly under the radar… which is why we’re telling a reporter our plans.”

“We are planning a soft opening, because why would we want people to know we’re open?”

“We wanted to plant a secret coded message in the Personals section of small-town newspapers all around America, so that only the truly devoted fans of old movie serials would come here. The trouble was that most of those people were already in the Obituaries section.”

Considering what the Valentine was used for during the period between when Mxx bankrupted it and Masoné Jar-Jarré bought it, I would be careful using phrases like “soft opening.”

Hmmmm. Something’s missing here. OH! Yeah. JJ

Unseen Panel Four: Skip excitedly asks Mxx and Hnnh if their “hard opening” will be a double feature of “Misty Beethoven” and “Barbara Broadcast.”

Haha! XD