Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for May 08, 2023

Have you been spying on me?

Time to go find you some of those stretch pants.

Extra long belt to sort of bridge the gap, extra long shirt to cover said gap, problem solved.

LOL

Circumference creep.

And your Tighty Whities are tightier, but not as whity.

He has a girth control problem.

Looks like he’s becoming a stereotypical plugger.

Take a very, very deep breath.

Ah yes, the old Ron White syndrome.

“You ever take a cr@p so big, your pants fit better? Anybody ever do that? You ever…I’m hoping that happens to me later tonight, ‘cause these babies don’t fit anymore. I’m hoping I’m one big t#rd away from backing into an old wardrobe.“

It’s amazing how much clothes shrink over time.

Try my amazing new nano black holes, and you too can suck in your gut!

“You think you’re so tiny? Put your money where your mouth is – unless there’s already a sweet roll there”.

The ravages of time.

Cleverest caption yet. This woman misses nothing.