Monty by Jim Meddick for May 10, 2023

I lost mine when I had it in my carry-on luggage instead of checked luggage.

If only Monty had a mobile robot he could send into the pipe to retrieve them.

Leave if you see any balloons.

When does it start raining?

Remindsme of the story about a man seen waddding up a fiv dollar bill and throwing it in the toilet, Asked Why? her replied “I’m not going to reach in there for just a quarter that fell out of my pocket.”

Where is that Ronco pocket fisherman when you need it.

Now, whoever finds that Swiss army knife will have one without the string attachment.

didn’t see that comin’

This could turn out to be the most expensive free bagel ever!

‘’cool swiss army knife’’ is a redundancy, all swiss army knives are cool. I have several and I’m a cool guy.

Now, Monty will try another trick tomorrow, any ideas?

Will he get some part of his body jammed under the grate? They weigh about 40 kg.

Tune in tomorrow, same channel, same time.

When I was entering a large venue in NY featuring the Dalai Lama, security took my Swiss Army knife. Guess they figured I’d run down the aisle, mount the stage and stab that controversial man, and no one would be able to stop me. P.S. I never got it back!

good or bad, luck runs in threes.

Murphy’s Law .

Why don’t you tie your wallet to the end of a string and maybe the customer loyalty card down there will just slide into its former compartment?

He’s lucky he still has his shoestring. :)

Ooh. Strangers on a Train, the grate scene.

They better be careful of the clown who’s in there!

MacGyver in real life.

I always carry a Swiss Army knife in my pants pocket. One day when I was entering the county courthouse to file some official paperwork (which would’ve taken maybe 5 minutes in an office 20 feet from the security gate) I was told I couldn’t go in with it. “Could I just leave it with you guys for the next 5 minutes?” “No, sir.” (At least they called me “sir”.) So back to the car, drop off the knife, return to the courthouse, file the papers, back to the car again, and spend half an hour on an errand that could’ve been accomplished in 10 minutes with the exercise of some common sense.

Later that same year, some idiot with a gun was waiting outside that self-same courthouse for one of his rivals to be released on bail and proceeded to blow him away while spraying bullets all over the place, fortunately missing everyone else thru no great care of his own. But hooray, at least the guy didn’t have anything to worry about from my Swiss Army knife.

Bet he loses the watch next. :)

Now, or soon, is when he discovers that the grate lifts off.

Smart play, Monty, smart play. Now, you can say bye bye to your coupon and your Swiss Army knife.

Idiots. We are surrounded by idiots!