Agnes by Tony Cochran for August 09, 2023

I’m worried if his tools would fit into that throat anyway

When, at age 5, I was told my tonsils needed to come out, my reasoning was no less eloquent. “God put those tonsils there for a reason!”

Had my tonsils out twice, two years apart (both called it “tonsils”, second was probably adenoids). Didn’t help, made my hearing worse each time (which is what they were claiming to fix), although most kids had the operation for ear infections and/or that new, fancy ’59 Chrysler Imperial in purple.

throat scalps. If the indians had known about THAT technique, Custer and whole lot more would have lived much longer

Maybe not a ‘he’ doctor could be a ‘she’.

“Hello, my name is Doctor Dances with Knives.”

“Nope…”

And no doubt displays them in his office, Agnes.

The doctor with the most throat scalps on his belt gets to be chief

Protesting will do no good, Agnes. The doctor will do what needs to be done.

Are tonsillectomies still done a lot? I and most folks my age (68) seem to have had them but none of my kids did.

just like the tooth helmet the dentist has

Poor Agnes. It’s really scary for children.

Does Grandma have insurance? What if she has to sell the truck?

wasn’t snip-happy scissor wielder one of the friday the 13th movies…?

My cousin was a nurse for a doctor who enjoyed doing circumcisions. He would save the foreskins. People asked him, “What do you save them for?”

He smiled and said, “Fish bait.”