Will a parasol save him? I’m not up on my vampire lore, but on some strange recent TV series I did see a vampire jump out of an airplane after he made sure he had an umbrella – not to break his fall, but to deploy after he hit the ground so the sun wouldn’t destroy him (until he had healed enough from his fall to find shelter from the sun).
A man has stopped his expensive SUV on a rural road while a huge flock of sheep crosses. He glances impatiently at his Rolex several times, then gets out to talk to the farmer.
“I bet you one of your sheep that I can tell you exactly how many of them you have.”
The farmer shrugs and says “Sure.”
So the guy whips out a laptop, looks at satellite photos, does a few calculations and says “You have 567 sheep.”
The farmer says “That’s right! Okay, take one of them”. So the man grabs one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle.
Then the farmer says “I bet all my sheep against your SUV that I can tell you what you do for a living.” The man agrees to this.
“You’re a consultant”, says the farmer.
“That’s right, how did you know?”, says the man.
“You showed up here without being asked. You told me something I already knew. And you know nothing about my business. Now give me back my dog.”
There’s a sketch in which the Count has sheep leaping over his bed. When they quit on him, he calls a special service, and a man in a sheep costume fills in.
Sir Davecelot 12 months ago
Vone Veep, Voo Veep, Vee…
Richard S Russell Premium Member 12 months ago
I’m going to come back later today to see if anybody’s been able to explain this one.
FreihEitner Premium Member 12 months ago
The Count meets his match.
Cool Hand Luke Premium Member 12 months ago
The Count was counting sheep?
Bilan 12 months ago
This is a baa joke.
DaBump Premium Member 12 months ago
Sheep: the Count’s Kryptonite.
uniquename 12 months ago
He probably didn’t count on this happening.
iggyman 12 months ago
You’ll have that Count!
Chalres 12 months ago
Will a parasol save him? I’m not up on my vampire lore, but on some strange recent TV series I did see a vampire jump out of an airplane after he made sure he had an umbrella – not to break his fall, but to deploy after he hit the ground so the sun wouldn’t destroy him (until he had healed enough from his fall to find shelter from the sun).
Doug K 12 months ago
Earlier: "One – one sheep. Two – two sheep. Three – three sheep. Four – four wonderful sheep. Baa ha ha ha ha …
nosirrom 12 months ago
I’d make a comment but I’m afraid it would be bleated.
backyardcowboy 12 months ago
Out for the Count.
Jeffin Premium Member 12 months ago
Just when you fleeced expect it.
jango 12 months ago
Actually i think he’s in sugar shock after eating a box of Count Chocula
Chris 12 months ago
got tired of counting sheep huh. :J
[Traveler] Premium Member 12 months ago
Hope he wakes before daylight
atomicdog 12 months ago
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Zebrastripes 12 months ago
The count will need a hearty breakfast upon wakening…may I suggest Count CHOCULA!?
Frank Burns Eats Worms 12 months ago
Countdown.
a sage 12 months ago
He fell asleep counting sheep.
ladykat 12 months ago
The count counted sheep and fell asleep!
RonBerg13 Premium Member 12 months ago
Ah, good… it only took me a couple of minutes to get this one.
Bruce Pifer Premium Member 12 months ago
The Count was counting sheep, like he tends to do, and fell asleep.
roboedit 12 months ago
if you come back later the sun will have caused him to disintegrate
exoremale 12 months ago
He’s the Count from Sesame Street. Fell asleep from counting sheep.
chillydod 12 months ago
Count and sheep
RPS11 12 months ago
Count Von Count from Sesame St.. Hope he wakes before sunrise!
Nuliajuk 12 months ago
A man has stopped his expensive SUV on a rural road while a huge flock of sheep crosses. He glances impatiently at his Rolex several times, then gets out to talk to the farmer.
“I bet you one of your sheep that I can tell you exactly how many of them you have.”
The farmer shrugs and says “Sure.”
So the guy whips out a laptop, looks at satellite photos, does a few calculations and says “You have 567 sheep.”
The farmer says “That’s right! Okay, take one of them”. So the man grabs one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle.
Then the farmer says “I bet all my sheep against your SUV that I can tell you what you do for a living.” The man agrees to this.
“You’re a consultant”, says the farmer.
“That’s right, how did you know?”, says the man.
“You showed up here without being asked. You told me something I already knew. And you know nothing about my business. Now give me back my dog.”
zeexenon 12 months ago
The Count should count those fictitious dark matter thingies’, fast before the sun is up.
Baucuva 12 months ago
He’s down for the Count!
TheWildSow 12 months ago
Who’s your favorite vampire?
Oh…I dunno…I guess, the one from Sesame Street!
Aw, he doesn’t count!
Oh, I assure you…he does.
dwfordham Premium Member 12 months ago
The count was counting sheep
Stephen Gilberg 12 months ago
There’s a sketch in which the Count has sheep leaping over his bed. When they quit on him, he calls a special service, and a man in a sheep costume fills in.
mako887 12 months ago
Counting sheep to go to sleep.
SavannahJim Premium Member 12 months ago
ONE! Ah, ah, yawn. Zzz
Smitty 12 months ago
For his sake, I hope the Count wakes up before sunup.
bagholder5150 12 months ago
Batty Batty Bat Batty Batty Bat Batty Batty one two three count.
Rich Douglas 12 months ago
You could always count on that guy.