Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for October 25, 2023

With Benchleyesque wit like that “dough” joke, it’s a wonder anyone thought Ol’ Blobfish Face was capable of writing comics.

Dough, dough, didjagettit? Forget those jokes about “What killed vaudeville” (unless your Batiuk), now it’s “What killed comic books?” And the answer is as plain as the nose on Mopey’s shoulders.

publishingperspectives com/2023/02/npd-books-comics-and-graphic-novels-slowing-in-the-states/

“In 2023’s first six weeks, the total US comics and graphic novels market is down 13 percent against 2022’s figures”

“Overall US Market: Down 2 Percent Over 2022”

Down 2% from where, you may ask? Two billion dollars, that’s where:

wordsrated com/comic-book-sales/

Two billion dollars in sales for the industry in 2021. Two billion dollars.

“Circling the drain”, he says. OK.

Come on, Batiuk, did you knead to make a pun that would get panned like that?

He’s ready to move Pasta life, as a screen-writer

“Do you really want to leave a job where you ‘write’ anti-jokes like this and still get paid? For 50 years?” YES TOM JUST LEAVE BEFORE THEY FIRE YOU

There is a spot by my condo, on the busiest road in town ideal for a restaurant, that has A: Opened as one; B: Been open for 6 months, then failed; C: Closed for 6 months; D: Repeat A to D. For 36 years. After all these DECADES, they finally tore it down to build a legal weed store. There is no surer way to have a business fail than to open a restaurant. Especially one that will be themed “HEY KIDS! COMICS!”

“GOSH! Circling the drain?! Guess I’d better quit this job and open a lousy pizza place in rust belt Ohio!” —Kevin Feige, in some part of the Multiverse

Apparently, the “highest paid comic book writer in the whole country“ doesn’t really make that much. Otherwise, going from writing comics to running a pizzeria is a massive change. If Montoni couldn’t make it work with all his experience, what kind of chance does mopey Pete think he has?

“I mean, I don’t know anything about running a restaurant or making pizza and I have no business acumen and this is just a place I used to eat at and I don’t have any money to put into starting a business. But hey, we can get free pizza!”

“I didn’t leave comics, Bindy…I mean Mindy…er Lindy, they left me.”“I can understand why.”

…..raising that kind of dough……….still in the comic ……it is in his blood!

Just in time for the Halloween pizza box monster, or whatever that thing was.

Marrying this eyebag masquerading as a person would be a huge mistake.

“With my current career failing, I thought we might buy this business that closed because they didn’t have enough customers!”

Did he make enough ‘dough’ (see what I did there?) to buy a business?

“This place went out of business due to poor sales. Hey, I know, let’s buy it and reopen it as the same place! Genius!”

well he could make a pumpkin spice pizza thats good for two months of sales

No ring it would seem…..

I wish he would just leave THIS comic…

Restaurants aren’t exactly reliable either. 20% go on to have long successes.