Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for November 22, 2023

Then why the hell are they still working there??!?

Wild turkeys are hard to shoot, we had them in NY and never heard of somebody shooting one. BUT I never got a pheasant either so I should shut up!

And impossible that I will eat it.

Why was the Turkey late for dinner.

He was busy getting dressed.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because the chickens weren’t around.

I was at the store with my wife picking out a turkey and she seemed unimpressed by the size. She asked “do they get any bigger?”

I looked her in the eyes and replied “no honey, they’re dead.”

Why did the Turkey want to join a band?

Because it had drumsticks.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost?

A poultrygeist!

Shot my first turkey this morning.

Scared the daylights out of the people in the frozen food section.

Did you hear that I won the Thanksgiving turkey cookoff?

You Butterball-ieve it!

It’s a bit like Mock Turtle…..

And still, you thought they would get one for you, Fink?

Looks like a pile of, well you know, the thing

If thburzere are impossible burgers, why not impossible turkeys? I woulda thunk the Fink could do better.

Turkeys in the mid evil period would be an anachronism any way as they were only in the New World which the Europeans hadn’t invented yet.

If he’s lucky, the clowns will give him a cream pie for dessert.

They can see movement almost a hundred yards away.Turkeys are social animals. They enjoy the company of other creatures, including humans.Turkeys can recognize each other by their voices, and more than 20 unique vocalizations have been identified in wild turkeys. They are incredibly curious and inquisitive animals who enjoy exploring.Turkeys are highly intelligent animals who, just like the dogs and cats in our homes, are playful individuals with unique personalities.Turkeys form strong social bonds and show affection towards one another.Turkeys are gentle creatures who enjoy socializing with human companions and protecting other turkeys with whom they’ve bonded.In the wild, mother Turkeys naturally raise their chicks for five months and fiercely protect them from danger. Wild turkeys can fly at speeds of up to 55 miles per hour and run at speeds of up to 25 miles per hour. The natural lifespan of the turkey is up to 10 years

That turkey looks awful. Apparently, the cook there is no better than the idjits who can’t shoot. . .

Hire the Huns! And invite them as welcome guests.

Tofu-rkey? Impossible to eat!

My impossible turkey is called, “Ham.”

I’m sorry but the longer I look at it, the more I see a fresh whopping tƏrd with vapors that will make the mouths on flies water with delight

Hunting turkey with a crossbow is challenging, to say the least.

But Sire, to shoot the real Turkey would be an attack on the monarch.

The kingdom of Id serving impossible Turkey, centuries ahead of Beyond Meat.

“Impossible” turkey will taste better anyway—-not all dry from over-cooking.

Never eat food with funny trademarked names.

It is bad when a turkey can outsmart you.