Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for December 15, 2023

He has 51 weeks to wait

He won’t have much fun when she blows on THAT.

And it will be gone just as quick…..

David’s Special Theory Of Relativity as applied to the work place.

As you know, Einstein’s Special Theory Of Relativity states that the closer you approach the speed of light, the slower time becomes. This can be applied to the work place in that the closer one approaches any variation of “Time Off” the slower time becomes. How slow is dependent on a variety of variables, examples being “Anticipation”, “Intent” and “Expected alcohol consumption”. Our theory also postulates that inertia builds up behind time in direct proportion as to how close to the event horizon of “Time Off” you are, crossing the threshold releases the inertia thus pushing time into a fantastic rate of speed varying from “Bat out of Hell” through “light speed” and it has been postulated to even “Warp Speed”. This variable is influenced by many factors including “participation”, “Money Spent” and how long you spend lying in the gutter or “Horizontally Challenged” until the second barrier, or “return to work” is hit, dissipating almost all the inertia behind time so that time again moves at a slow pace. How slow this is again dependent on many variables including “I hate this Job” and “I’m never drinking again” although the latter is usually modified by the expression of “Yeah, Right!”…..

Use your powers to time travel.

No. It’s “Fun flies when you’re doing time.”

He could always celebrate The❤️Count’s birthday tomorrow. AND there’s still time to go to the mall and get The❤️Count a gift! Psycho Bunny, Tommy Hilfiger and Donna Salyer’s Fabulous Furs. Can’t go wrong there, boy howdy.

Wiz expressing his inner 6-year-old…

Welll….she IS trying!!!!!!!

I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t wish my life away hoping to get to a future date sooner. That’s why enjoying today makes tomorrow seem to come sooner.But if Wiz did that, we’d have no funny. But even with the hats and noise makers they don’t seem to be having fun.

Where are your Xmas decorations, Wiz. There’s real joy in putting those up, too. I still like sitting in my LR and feasting my eyes on my decorated Xmas tree.

I don’t think pretending to have fun works unless you really are having fun.

Sometimes I would just like it to be over with.

I need my pension to come in!

‘Times Fun when you’re having Flies’

Isn’t that new years items?

Maybe break out a deck of cards or call some friends for a board game.

Auld lang sighing.

I for one am not in a hurry for next year to start. Election years are always contentious and messed up. But this next year has the potential to be strange and weird.

I threw my clock out of the window to see time fly.

Christmas is pretty. I celebrate the Solstice too, longer days coming, harbinger of warmer weather