Free Range by Bill Whitehead for January 06, 2024

Extraterrestrial “ransomware”.

They’re clearly not properly briefed on diversity abduction.

Would you like a complimentary cookbook?

Zogdar TSA

Where are all the people who claimed on Coast to Coast AM that they have been abducted.

Tell us your stories on here.

I highly recommend the movie “Paul”. – Not necessarily strip-related, but fun.

“As for married couples – you lucky Zorks!”

Is there an express line, 10 abductees or less?

If you’re arrested at this spaceport, do you get probation?

If this is what abductees that are ready for probing and processing look like, what are the abductees like if they’re not ready for probing and processing?

Is it karma when a proctologist gets abducted by the greys?

I once went to a party in Brampton, Ontario and woke up just outside Buffalo N.Y. Pretty sure there were no aliens involved.

Such a pain when waitresses don’t face their bills and have their drink order ready at the bar. I imagine abductors are notoriously unprepared as well.

That’s so last century.

Interesting, the males are carried by their midriffs, and the females like our men carry ladies.

You think they haven’t probed them already? Heck, that was the first thing they did!

Ah…serving man, I see…(and woman)

This is taking all the fun out of probing.

The one benefit of prostate cancer and having it removed is I no longer have to go through probing.

They’re very anal when it comes to protocol.

It’s interplanetary, but it’s intragalactic.

“He followed me home. Can I keep him?”