FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for May 22, 2024

He’s no Einstein.

Slower or faster? It’s relative.

Get lower to the ground, Peter. Gravity slows down time. Time actually passes quicker out at the international space station than it does down here on Earth. It’s a phenomenon that has to be accounted for in GPS satellites.

An astronomer told me that just being between two masses slows time down. I wondered if there was no mass in the universe would time not exist.

O.k….bong down.

No, we don’t yet give A’s for idiots! Wait a couple of years, and you’ll get at least a B plus for a 45% grade!

Time is on my side, yes it is (The Rolling Stones)

He’d be done with the test if he didn’t keep looking at his watch.

I didn’t know you were in such a hurry to get to summer school, Peter…

Too bad he isn’t moving at the speed of light, that would help

They do, but a) they have to move a lot faster than that for the difference to matter, and b) that clock might be moving slower, but it isn’t the one your teacher is using so it doesn’t matter anyway.

“OK, let’s see… P – E – T – E – R… Now, what the heck is my last name!?”

(⊙_ʖ⊙)

I liked physics in high school.

The Werewolf teacher.

In my senior year of H.S., my first period class (07:10) was physics taught by the most boring, monotoned teacher the school system has ever hired. You could easily see the teacher over of students in front, with their heads laying down on the tables. Doctor Sedative, I presume.

Ok, I laughed out loud!

A couple points for knowing something about relativity? When you have a job, that’s when time REALLY moves too slow at the end.