Mother Goose and Grimm by Mike Peters for May 06, 2024

Be particularly on guard should he suddenly produce a piece of fruit.

You will die laughing.

Why couldn’t we get an exact number on the distance, Mike?

Family and I enjoyed their humor back when.

Nooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Especially when he pulls on a nearby rope and a 16 ton weight falls on top of you.

What happened to the dead parrot did the snake eat it?

Are you looking for an argument?

Now that is something completely different.

Frequently used line at my house..“Beware of vicious rabbits!”

Watch out for the foot.

Bit of a goer, is she? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Say no more.

“Don’t stand there gawpin’, like you’ve never seen the Hand of God before!”

Bring forth the Holy hand grenade of Antioch.

“And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas…

“And the Lord spake, saying, ‘’First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.’

“No time Toulouse!”

“Oh, Mr. Belpit, your legs are so swollen!”

“Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?”

Cleese had to change the words on Fawlty Towers be cause so many peope cried not PC.

no funny walk?

The deadly Monty Python likes to hide in..“A SHRUBBERY!”

To quote a sketch, “Stop it. This has become silly.”

Oh, you’re no fun anymore!

’Tis only a flash wound.

They usually just slither up and slap you with a fish.

Yes, be careful. It will thumb it’s nose at you and fart in your general direction