The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for May 25, 2024

It could be worse. You could be worming the bench, thus not having a spot in the batting order.

Is your nickname on the team “3 away” or “easy out”?

Good reason!

I appreciate Brutus calmness. I have seen Italian soccer dads behave like hooligans if their children are not allowed to play.

On very long hike the scout master put me at the head of the troop. I felt so important. A leader! I’m recognized! Half way through I asked him what prompted his decision to have me lead. “You are the slowest hiker. Putting you up front keeps the troop together”

At that point I somehow knew I would be a manager someday.

Could be AL rules and you’re the DH where you’re batting for the pitcher and get no other field time.

Ah, a “chip” off the old block! (see what I did there?)

A good Memorial Day weekend to you, Mr. Brutus T, and to all of your readers.

I’m sure that Wilberforce can prove to the coach that he deserves to bat tenth.

That’s okay Wilberforce, your talents lie in other areas, not athletics. Though I’m not real sure where your talents lie…

He could be put in charge of the p_iss bucket.

Like father like son.

You asked Brutus .

Once it’s your turn, you could be bringing everyone home

When I played in little league baseball, because of my size, I was expected to hit the balls out of the park. I didn’t. I became the strikeout king. Maybe I, too, was in the ninth spot. I suspect, like Wilbur’s coach, he’s not been taught how to bat either.

well… at least he’s not the bench warmer anymore. :J

Wouldnt the first hitter, 5th hitter and 9th hitter all be the same aspect?

Girls team does and boys softball team does. Don’t feel bad. Hitting The Bench feels worse. Or being the Waterboy is even worse.

he’s usually the designated sitter…

As good a reason as any, I guess, Wilberforce.

Clean up? The Chips would really have to be down.

No where to go but up. It’s actually an incentive to get better and get more practice in the batting cage…..

Ouch. But at least you’re in the lineup Wilberforce. I assume you’re playing outfield – as in way way out in the field!

Brings to mind Woody Hayes. After the Buckeyes beat Michigan 50-14 in 1968 a reporter asked Woody why he went for 2 after the Bucks’ last touchdown. Woody’s response? “Because I couldn’t go for 3.”

Only nine players.

ba dum tss

How about the bench?

For me, the gag about not being able to bat lower than ninth brought to mind the 1969 NY Mets. The National and American Leagues had expanded from 10 teams each to 12, and for the first time each league was split into two divisions. Since their first season in 1962, the Mets had never finished higher than ninth place, so in 1969 the running gag in NY was that it was great that now they couldn’t finish any lower than sixth.

Of course, if you know your New York baseball history, they finished first, and went on to take their league playoffs in 3 straight games and the World Series in 5.

if it were team spinal tap they’d have an 11th spot in the order…

I’m guessing Wilberforce doesn’t take batting practice.

Better than not playing.