Tank McNamara by Bill Hinds for June 01, 2024

Um … I see a few problems with this promotion.

Then they spray them with tortilla chips that get stuck to them by the cheese after which they all run screaming from the stadium chased by thousands of crows (the promotion will be called a tribute to Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”!)

This one ranks right up there with “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”

Even if dumping melted cheese and firing a jalapeño cannon was a good idea, if you hand the fans tortilla chips as they enter the chips will have been eaten long before the 7th inning. They can be eaten plain… If there was salt on them. Add a giant salt shaker to this idea.

Sounds filthy and painful.

Why not just bring back Disco Demolition Night?

Ahhh, promotions that go horribly wrong! As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!

Had to look up the Mariner’s hot dogs from heaven. Hmm…

How about 10¢ beer night?

Their promotions manager has been watching too many castle siege movies.

Well, get your own cheese. That’s nacho cheese.

Uh, no thanks.

I think you’d need to pass out qualudes first…

What could possibly go wrong?

To wash it down – Man the Beer Hoses!!

I’m a long time baseball fan and even though I have not spent a dime on MLB since the ‘81 strike, I still follow the game pretty closely. But it’s highly unlikely that the lure of having cheese poured on me would lure me to a game.

this promo sounds pretty cheesy…

I’ll settle for finding refreshment vendors who still walk the aisles like in t he old days.