Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for June 26, 2024

See, that’s one scenario that I know how to deal with. The actual situations I find myself in? Not so much.

In my experience, when overweight miniature dogs rip me apart, they only eat my spleen and canine teeth.

You have nothing to fear but…

…overweight miniature dogs.

Fortunately they like being scratched on their butts.

This is because he has false teeth.

If they are Jack Russells, there won’t be any remains to identify. Vicious little beasts.

Get plenty of ketchup.

…it’s the old Vienna sausages nightmare trick..

…the evil organization, Hyper-Bole…

…(the far right arm of the current popular cult)…

…uses subliminal messages during morning inoculations…

…the pretty girl showing too much leg…

…says to the court jester…

…Jack be nimble…

…Jack jump over the candle stick…

…but the alternative message is…

…Frog Applause is lame…

…eat at Joe’s…

…well…

… any acolyte will tell you …

…it’s not what is said…

…it’s how you interpret it..

…and if that is with a mouthful of fat sausage…

…figuratively…

…of course…

…the cult says that you can only blame yourself for the recurring overweight miniature dog nightmare…

…for once you’re eating Vienna sausages…

…it’s too late to complain…

…for what did you expect?…

…a rubber biscuit?…

You are their fast food.

Today’s Senryū du Jour:

Cocktail wieners? Ha!

Sink teeth into them “fingers”?

Wiener dogs like legs!

— Preface to the Veterinarian & Vegetarian General’s report on The Alarming Rise of Minced (Non-Pie) Meat Attacks from Packs of Roaming Street Dachshunds and Other Smallish Berserk Yappy Dogs

shouldnt use kennel ration as a perfume

The smaller the dog, the bigger and more ferocious the canine’s inner wolf!

Yippity Yippity Snip …!

( who’s a good doggie, wanna treat? )

thats an odd fear, hundreds of obese tiny dogs mangling your skull bones

Small dogs? Oh, yes, there will be carnage. But in very small bites.

Pecked to death by dog-yucks.

Death from the ankles down!

Well? I mean, you WERE driving the Milk Bone® truck. For next time, get some high-ankle hiking boots.

Thanks a lot. I just gotten over my fear of obese chihuahua packs.

Number one on the list of reasons not to talk like a sausage, or to otherwise make sounds like one.

To Luca Debus and his GC Creator pin on the Blog: Wow, you’re younger than I am! (But I say that to all the guys.)

Land Piranhas, I tell you, nothing but Land Piranhas.

Lucked out so far. The only ones who’ve expressed any interest in attacking have been so obese their legs couldn’t touch the floor — so they simply spun lazily around on their stomachs, propelled by occasional lackluster wags.