Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for September 06, 2024

last time i did that, Myself promised not to speak to me again….

Penny For Your Hateful Thoughts

My coworker is ringing up a customer.

Customer: “You’re probably going to hate me for this.”

Coworker: “Oh, don’t worry, I hate all my customers.”

The customer smiles a little, but then holds up a huge bag of pennies and nickels.

Coworker: “…some I hate more than others, though.”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 53

I am browsing in a large clothing store and another customer is close to me, muttering and making passive-aggressive comments.

Customer: “Honestly! I obviously need some assistance, and no one is offering to help me!”

The customer then glares at me.

Customer: “I said no one is offering to help me!”

I then realize she thinks I work here. I’m about to correct her when she aggressively gets all up in my face.

Customer: “When a customer is talking, you listen! Where is your lingerie!?”

Me: “On my husband, where I left him, tied to the bed!”

That shut her up.

Give The People What They Want, And To Heck With Organization!

I worked as a relief manager for a pub company. I would go into pubs and look after them when the manager was on holiday or when the company was looking for a new manager.

One pub was split into two halves with a pub on one side and a restaurant on the other. It was my first day. The lunch rush was just beginning, and there was a queue of elderly people forming at the only food till.

My first customer asked me for the Ham, Egg, and Chips, which wasn’t on the menu. I was explaining this when a member of the regular staff cut in.

Staff Member: “It’s fine; the chef will make it. You just need to charge her for the chicken and chips.”

This went on with every old dear that came to the till. They would ask for something that wasn’t on the menu, and I would have to charge them for the chicken or something.

Once the shift was over, I questioned this practice with the chef.

Chef: “We have a lot of old customers who are very set in their ways, so we are happy to cook what they want. It’s always a similar set of meals, and we always have the stuff in to make them.”

Fair enough, but I could never understand why they didn’t just put these meals on the menu and in the till. Keeping track of stock control must have been a nightmare, but somehow, they were making money on this mess, so whatever.

“ I love me … Who do you love?”

It’s OK to talk to oneself, at least while you (both?) don’t disagree about important issues concerning your safety and your life

I’m the only one that knows the right answer!

I talk to myself to strike up an intelligent conversation.

\\//_

……no positive feedback?

And you never argue with each other…

I am not always sure that myself understands me. Some say it is difficult to understand women- I would say that about me & myself. Tricky life is that, being me :-D And I love it!

(And I really do not have a clue if this all works how I used those tricky terms in your tricky language. Although it does sound good to me. ;-p Ya all have a great weekend!)

Also, sometimes it’s the only way to have an intelligent conversation.

It takes a crazy to understand a crazy Aunty.

Schizophrenic or delusional comes to mind.

We’re not on speaking terms.

if i talked to myself i’d just end up as confused as everyone else…